1
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,650
♪ Sun's up
2
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:13,653
♪ It's a little after 12:00
3
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,255
♪ Make breakfast for myself
4
00:00:16,324 --> 00:00:18,594
♪ Leave the work
for someone else
5
00:00:20,829 --> 00:00:22,857
♪ People say
6
00:00:22,926 --> 00:00:25,798
♪ They say
that it's just a phase
7
00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:28,104
♪ They tell me to act my age
8
00:00:28,937 --> 00:00:30,473
♪ Well, I am
9
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,543
♪ On this perfect day
10
00:00:36,144 --> 00:00:38,381
♪ Nothing's standing in my way
11
00:00:39,014 --> 00:00:40,816
♪ On this perfect day
12
00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:44,717
♪ When nothing can go wrong
13
00:00:44,786 --> 00:00:46,489
♪ It's a perfect day
14
00:00:48,656 --> 00:00:51,094
♪ Tomorrow's gonna
come too soon
15
00:00:51,727 --> 00:00:53,329
♪ I could stay
16
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,398
♪ Forever as I am
17
00:00:57,165 --> 00:00:59,302
♪ On this perfect day
18
00:01:00,736 --> 00:01:02,471
(CHEERING)
19
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,305
♪ Sun's down
20
00:01:06,374 --> 00:01:08,477
♪ A little after 10:00
21
00:01:09,344 --> 00:01:11,514
♪ I pick up all my friends
22
00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:14,483
♪ In my Mercedes-Benz
23
00:01:14,983 --> 00:01:16,485
(GIGGLING)
24
00:01:17,051 --> 00:01:18,550
♪ Wake up
25
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:21,620
♪ Don't tell me
it's just a dream
26
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:24,590
♪ 'Cause when I've had enough
you'll hear me say
27
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,325
Hi!
28
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,325
Hi! Here it is!
29
00:01:26,394 --> 00:01:29,094
♪ Now don't you try
to rain on my
30
00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:30,733
♪ Perfect day
31
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:35,001
♪ Nothing's standing in my way
32
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,805
♪ On this perfect day
33
00:01:38,206 --> 00:01:40,443
♪ When nothing can go wrong
34
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:42,845
♪ It's a perfect day
35
00:01:43,446 --> 00:01:44,677
Hi.
36
00:01:44,746 --> 00:01:47,280
♪ Tomorrow's gonna
come too soon
37
00:01:47,349 --> 00:01:49,152
♪ I could stay
38
00:01:51,053 --> 00:01:52,588
♪ Forever as I am
39
00:01:53,421 --> 00:01:55,558
♪ On this perfect day
40
00:01:57,859 --> 00:01:59,428
And five and four, and...
41
00:01:59,895 --> 00:02:01,197
(CHEERING)
42
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,264
Hey, girls, sign!
43
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,835
All right!
44
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,835
Yeah!
45
00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:12,738
♪ I'm in the race,
but I already won
46
00:02:12,807 --> 00:02:15,174
♪ And getting there
can be half the fun
47
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:17,210
Elle's gonna
love it! Thanks.
48
00:02:17,279 --> 00:02:18,443
GIRL: Whoo!
You go, girl!
49
00:02:18,512 --> 00:02:20,783
♪ Don't you try to rain on my
50
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,319
♪ Perfect day
51
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,222
♪ Day
52
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:29,358
♪ It's the perfect day
53
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,528
(GIGGLING)
54
00:02:33,294 --> 00:02:35,264
♪ It's the perfect day
55
00:02:37,465 --> 00:02:39,635
♪ Nothing's gonna
bring me down
56
00:02:40,664 --> 00:02:42,271
♪ I could stay
57
00:02:43,338 --> 00:02:45,274
♪ Forever as I am
58
00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:47,940
Hi, girls!
Here, sign!
59
00:02:48,009 --> 00:02:49,208
♪ Perfect day
60
00:02:49,277 --> 00:02:52,145
♪ Nothing's standing in my way
61
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,350
♪ On this perfect day
62
00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:58,683
There she is.
63
00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:58,683
Ah, thank you.
64
00:02:58,752 --> 00:03:02,354
♪ I'm in the race
but I already won
65
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,961
♪ And getting there
can be half the fun ♪
66
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,727
ELLE: I love that
restaurant!
67
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,495
I heard Madonna
went into labor there.
68
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,263
Oh, gosh! I have
to go shopping!
69
00:03:11,332 --> 00:03:12,832
Okay, I'll see
you tonight.
70
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,303
Okay. Bye.
71
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,240
Bruiser, what's this?
72
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,638
Oh! "Good luck tonight.
Elle and Warner forever."
73
00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:25,681
Oh, that's so cute.
74
00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:27,783
(SIGHS)
75
00:03:41,396 --> 00:03:44,600
Oh, my gosh!
You guys are so sweet!
76
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,267
But I'm not positive
it's gonna
happen tonight.
77
00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,202
Hello! He just
had lunch with
his grandmother.
78
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,736
You know
he got the rock.
79
00:03:51,805 --> 00:03:53,806
Why else would she have
flown in from Newport?
80
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:56,309
It's not like she'd
FedEx a 6-carat
diamond.
81
00:03:56,378 --> 00:03:57,777
Do you really think?
82
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,078
I can't believe
you're getting
engaged!
83
00:03:59,147 --> 00:04:00,213
(SQUEALING)
84
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,714
Oh, my gosh,
85
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,387
you guys have to
help me pick out
the perfect outfit.
86
00:04:04,919 --> 00:04:06,852
Come on!
87
00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,454
MARGOT: I think you
should go with the red.
88
00:04:08,523 --> 00:04:10,250
It's the color
of confidence.
89
00:04:10,319 --> 00:04:12,258
I don't understand
why you're
completely disregarding
90
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:13,360
your signature color.
91
00:04:13,429 --> 00:04:14,760
He's proposing.
92
00:04:14,829 --> 00:04:16,963
I can't look like
I would on
any other date.
93
00:04:17,032 --> 00:04:18,130
This is the date.
94
00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:19,802
The night
I'll always
remember.
95
00:04:20,436 --> 00:04:21,737
I want to look special.
96
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,706
(GASPS) Bridal.
97
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:26,239
But not like
I expect anything.
98
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:27,573
There's nothing
I love more
99
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,775
than a dumb blonde
with Daddy's plastic.
100
00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:32,245
He gets excited when...
101
00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:32,245
Did you see this one?
102
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,446
We just got it
in yesterday.
103
00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:37,917
(EXCLAIMS) Is this
low-viscosity rayon?
104
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,852
Uh, yes. Of course.
105
00:04:39,921 --> 00:04:42,087
With a half-loop
top-stitching on the hem?
106
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,857
Absolutely.
It's one of a kind.
107
00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,291
Hmm.
108
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,361
It's impossible to use
a half-loop top-stitching
109
00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:51,531
on low-viscosity rayon.
It would snag the fabric.
110
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,099
And you didn't
just get it in.
111
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,800
I saw it in the June
Vogue a year ago.
112
00:04:54,869 --> 00:04:57,202
So if you're trying to sell
it to me for full price,
113
00:04:57,271 --> 00:04:58,641
you picked the wrong girl.
114
00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:01,577
Ow.
115
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:03,012
(SCOFFS)
116
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,881
Girls, this is it.
117
00:05:07,115 --> 00:05:08,815
(SIGHS) In a few hours,
118
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:11,854
I'll be the future
Mrs. Warner Huntington III.
119
00:05:12,288 --> 00:05:13,822
(SQUEALING)
120
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:26,266
Hello.
121
00:05:26,335 --> 00:05:27,770
(GIRLS WHISPERING)
122
00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:46,855
Wow. You look
so beautiful.
123
00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:48,891
So do you.
124
00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:00,970
Let's get out of here.
125
00:06:04,673 --> 00:06:05,674
Okay.
126
00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,779
(SIGHS)
127
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,951
ELLE: Must be strange
having such perfect eyes.
128
00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,423
(LAUGHS)
129
00:06:21,857 --> 00:06:24,827
God, you're
so wonderful.
Elle, thank you.
130
00:06:26,227 --> 00:06:28,897
Oh. Here's to us.
131
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:30,899
To us.
132
00:06:34,303 --> 00:06:35,771
Ooh.
133
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,875
Elle?
134
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,875
Yes.
135
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,511
One of the reasons
I wanted to come
here tonight
136
00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:46,545
was to discuss
our future.
137
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,381
And I am fully amenable
to that discussion.
138
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,617
Good. You know how
we've been having
139
00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:52,885
all kinds of fun
lately?
140
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:53,786
Yeah.
141
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:56,555
Well, Harvard is
gonna be different.
142
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,459
Law school is
a completely
different world,
143
00:06:59,528 --> 00:07:01,294
and I need to be serious.
144
00:07:01,363 --> 00:07:03,529
Of course.
145
00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:05,865
I mean, my family
expects a lot from me.
146
00:07:05,934 --> 00:07:06,800
Right.
147
00:07:06,869 --> 00:07:08,768
I expect a lot from me.
148
00:07:06,869 --> 00:07:08,768
Mmm-hmm.
149
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,937
I plan on running
for office someday.
150
00:07:11,006 --> 00:07:13,138
I fully support that, Warner.
You know that, right?
151
00:07:13,207 --> 00:07:15,607
Absolutely.
But the thing is,
152
00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:17,947
if I'm gonna be a senator
by the time I'm 30,
153
00:07:18,847 --> 00:07:20,846
I need to stop
dicking around.
154
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:24,587
Oh, Warner,
I completely agree.
155
00:07:25,254 --> 00:07:26,351
(GIGGLES)
156
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,824
Well, that's why I think
it's time for us,
157
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:31,858
Elle, Pooh Bear...
158
00:07:31,927 --> 00:07:32,962
Yes?
159
00:07:34,462 --> 00:07:35,965
I think we should break up.
160
00:07:34,462 --> 00:07:35,965
I do.
161
00:07:38,867 --> 00:07:39,969
(CHUCKLES)
162
00:07:41,403 --> 00:07:42,669
What?
163
00:07:42,738 --> 00:07:44,337
I've been
thinking about it,
164
00:07:44,406 --> 00:07:45,672
and I think it's
the right thing.
165
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:47,843
You're breaking up
with me?
166
00:07:48,944 --> 00:07:50,743
I thought
you were proposing.
167
00:07:50,812 --> 00:07:52,712
(CHUCKLES WEAKLY)
Proposing?
168
00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:55,781
Elle, if I'm
gonna be a senator,
169
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,218
I need to marry
a Jackie,
not a Marilyn.
170
00:07:58,287 --> 00:07:59,651
(LAUGHS)
171
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:03,189
So you're breaking up
with me because
I'm too blonde?
172
00:08:03,258 --> 00:08:05,524
No. That's not
entirely true.
173
00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:07,863
Then what?
My boobs are too big?
174
00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,063
(SOFTLY) Your boobs
are fine.
175
00:08:11,132 --> 00:08:13,499
So when you said that
you would always love me,
176
00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:15,167
you were just
dicking around?
177
00:08:15,236 --> 00:08:16,836
Elle, I do love you,
178
00:08:16,905 --> 00:08:20,106
(ELLE CRYING)
179
00:08:16,905 --> 00:08:20,106
I just can't marry you.
180
00:08:20,175 --> 00:08:22,976
You have no idea
the pressure
that I'm under.
181
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:25,510
My family has
five generations
of senators.
182
00:08:25,579 --> 00:08:28,047
My brother's in
the top three at Yale Law.
183
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:30,450
And he just got engaged
to a Vanderbilt,
for crying out loud.
184
00:08:30,519 --> 00:08:32,021
(ELLE SHRIEKS)
185
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,000
Bad salad.
186
00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:47,036
Sweetie...
187
00:08:47,936 --> 00:08:49,038
Pooh Bear?
188
00:08:50,205 --> 00:08:51,837
(SCOFFS)
189
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,944
It's not like I have
a choice here,
sweetheart!
190
00:08:56,544 --> 00:08:59,011
Okay. You get the car,
I'll get the check.
191
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,683
WOMAN: I won't be
having the salad.
192
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:03,819
(WHIMPERING)
193
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,257
Come on,
let me take
you home.
194
00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:11,557
No.
195
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:13,930
Elle, believe me. I never
expected to do this.
196
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:16,861
But I think
it's the right thing.
197
00:09:16,930 --> 00:09:19,799
How can it be the
right thing when
we're not together?
198
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,834
Well, I have to
think of my future
199
00:09:21,903 --> 00:09:23,703
and what my family
expects of me.
200
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,970
So you're
breaking up with me
201
00:09:25,039 --> 00:09:27,076
because you're afraid
your family won't like me?
202
00:09:27,709 --> 00:09:29,842
Everybody likes me.
203
00:09:29,911 --> 00:09:32,377
Well, East Coast people
are different.
204
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,947
Just because I'm
not a Vanderbilt,
suddenly I'm white trash?
205
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,548
I grew up
in Bel Air, Warner!
206
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,217
Across the street
from Aaron Spelling!
207
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,214
I think most people would
agree that's a lot better
208
00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:42,521
than some stinky
old Vanderbilt!
209
00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:45,661
I told you.
I need someone
serious.
210
00:09:47,162 --> 00:09:49,765
But I'm seriously
in love with you.
211
00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:51,767
(SIGHS)
212
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:54,867
Isn't that enough?
213
00:09:54,936 --> 00:09:57,140
Pooh Bear,
just get in the car.
214
00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:01,210
(SNIFFLING) No.
215
00:10:02,945 --> 00:10:05,648
WARNER: You're gonna
ruin your shoes.
216
00:10:10,419 --> 00:10:11,615
Okay.
217
00:11:00,735 --> 00:11:02,171
Morning, Amy.
218
00:11:08,511 --> 00:11:09,808
Elle, it's Amy.
219
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:12,478
I'm having trouble
with this whole
lip-liner thing.
220
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,414
Sweetie,
didn't you hear?
221
00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:15,681
Hear what?
222
00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:18,021
Oh, it's terrible.
He dumped her.
223
00:11:19,422 --> 00:11:21,354
WOMAN ON TV: Why me?
224
00:11:21,423 --> 00:11:24,961
Because you're not
gonna remember
anything after tonight.
225
00:11:26,961 --> 00:11:29,962
WOMAN: Oh, you're wrong.
226
00:11:30,031 --> 00:11:32,101
I will remember,
no matter what.
227
00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:36,005
And I'm never gonna
lose you again.
228
00:11:37,205 --> 00:11:40,809
MAN: You couldn't.
You're a part of me.
229
00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:44,147
I love you.
230
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,115
Liar!
231
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,615
Honey, you have
to leave this room.
232
00:11:49,684 --> 00:11:51,420
It's been, like,
a week.
233
00:11:52,188 --> 00:11:53,286
So?
234
00:11:53,355 --> 00:11:55,086
Drink this.
235
00:11:55,155 --> 00:11:58,358
What's the one thing that
always makes us feel
better no matter what?
236
00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,228
(GASPS)
237
00:12:02,798 --> 00:12:05,298
She had eight grilled
cheese sandwiches.
238
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:06,332
Oh, no.
239
00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:09,335
She stuffed them
in her mouth.
It was so sad.
240
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:12,332
We all thought she'd
be the first to walk
down the aisle,
241
00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:13,977
and now she's
totally adrift.
242
00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:15,478
Totally.
243
00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:19,744
SERENA: She hasn't
conditioned her
hair in a week.
244
00:12:19,813 --> 00:12:21,881
MARGOT: Maybe
she's going for
the grunge look.
245
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,318
And her nails are
full-on chipped.
246
00:12:24,387 --> 00:12:25,388
So trailer park.
247
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,092
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
248
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:40,333
Oh, my God!
Do you know
who this is?
249
00:12:40,402 --> 00:12:41,567
OLD WOMAN: No.
250
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,170
That's Warner's
older brother!
251
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:44,837
Who?
252
00:12:44,906 --> 00:12:47,807
"Third year Yale Law student
Putnam Bowes Huntington III
253
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:50,346
"and his fiancee
Layne Walker Vanderbilt,
254
00:12:51,847 --> 00:12:54,250
"first year Yale Law."
255
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,149
(GASPS)
256
00:12:57,218 --> 00:12:59,652
This is the type of girl
that Warner wants to marry!
257
00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:02,349
This is what I need
to become to be serious!
258
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:05,225
What? Practically
deformed?
259
00:13:05,294 --> 00:13:06,162
No...
260
00:13:07,563 --> 00:13:09,032
A law student.
261
00:13:14,236 --> 00:13:15,304
Elle?
262
00:13:16,272 --> 00:13:17,703
Law school?
263
00:13:17,772 --> 00:13:20,005
It's a perfectly
respectable place, Daddy.
264
00:13:20,074 --> 00:13:23,109
Honey, you were
first runner-up
265
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,278
at the Miss Hawaiian
Tropic contest.
266
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,747
Why are you gonna
throw that all away?
267
00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:28,948
Going to Harvard
is the only way
268
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,183
I'm going to get
the love of
my life back.
269
00:13:31,252 --> 00:13:33,386
Oh, sweetheart, you
don't need law school.
270
00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:34,754
Law school is for people
271
00:13:34,823 --> 00:13:39,058
who are boring
and ugly and serious.
272
00:13:39,127 --> 00:13:41,197
And you, button, are
none of those things.
273
00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:44,533
(SIGHS)
274
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,700
Harvard Law School?
275
00:13:47,769 --> 00:13:49,205
That's right.
276
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,705
But that's a top
three school.
277
00:13:52,774 --> 00:13:55,107
Oh, I have a 4.0.
278
00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:58,281
Yes, but your major
is Fashion Merchandising.
279
00:14:00,348 --> 00:14:02,849
Harvard won't be
impressed that you aced
280
00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:04,550
"History of Polka Dots."
281
00:14:04,619 --> 00:14:06,022
(LAUGHS)
282
00:14:08,823 --> 00:14:10,022
What are your
back-ups?
283
00:14:10,091 --> 00:14:12,856
I don't need back-ups.
I'm going to Harvard.
284
00:14:13,928 --> 00:14:16,528
Well, then,
you'll need
285
00:14:16,597 --> 00:14:19,099
excellent recommendations
from your professors.
286
00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,199
Okay.
287
00:14:20,268 --> 00:14:22,635
And a heck of
an admissions essay.
288
00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:23,937
Right.
289
00:14:24,006 --> 00:14:28,244
And at least
a 175 on your LSATs.
290
00:14:29,978 --> 00:14:31,944
I once had to judge
a tighty-whitey contest
291
00:14:32,013 --> 00:14:33,278
for Lambda Kappa Pi.
292
00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:35,618
Trust me,
I can handle anything.
293
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,558
Thanks!
294
00:14:43,392 --> 00:14:44,393
Welcome.
295
00:14:46,555 --> 00:14:49,161
Because I have
a metrabolism...
296
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:50,697
I have a really
high metrabolism.
297
00:14:50,766 --> 00:14:52,268
It's metabol...
298
00:14:56,572 --> 00:14:57,902
Oh, my God.
299
00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:00,376
What are you doing?
300
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:03,246
Reading about
the LSATs.
301
00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:05,544
My cousin had that.
302
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:08,451
Apparently you get
a really bad rash
on your...
303
00:15:10,486 --> 00:15:11,984
The LSATs are an exam.
304
00:15:12,053 --> 00:15:14,053
Girls, I'm going
to Harvard!
305
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,321
You mean like
on vay-kay?
306
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:16,656
Let's all go!
307
00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:17,857
BOTH: Road trip!
308
00:15:17,926 --> 00:15:19,926
(SCREAMING)
309
00:15:19,995 --> 00:15:22,465
No. I'm going to
Harvard Law School.
310
00:15:24,767 --> 00:15:26,498
Why?
311
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,902
Elle, now, I know
you're upset about all this,
312
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,440
but can't you just
take a Percocet?
313
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:36,743
Okay. Once Warner sees me
as a serious law student,
314
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:37,910
he'll totally want me back.
315
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,413
It's a completely
brilliant plan!
316
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:43,216
But isn't it hard to
get into law school?
317
00:15:43,285 --> 00:15:45,454
I had the highest GPA
in Delta Nu.
318
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:51,260
Oh, well. Here,
you're gonna need this.
319
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,827
Your scrunchy?
320
00:15:53,895 --> 00:15:57,662
My lucky scrunchy.
It helped me pass Spanish.
321
00:15:57,731 --> 00:15:59,966
You passed Spanish
because you gave
Professor Montoya
322
00:16:00,035 --> 00:16:02,602
a lap dance
after the final.
323
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:05,108
Yeah...luckily.
324
00:16:06,808 --> 00:16:07,576
(SNUFFS)
325
00:16:12,415 --> 00:16:14,513
Oh, hi!
326
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:18,284
My name is Elle Woods,
and for my admissions essay,
327
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,319
I'm gonna tell
all of you at Harvard
328
00:16:20,388 --> 00:16:23,355
why I'm gonna make
an amazing lawyer.
329
00:16:23,424 --> 00:16:25,558
ELLE: As president
of my sorority,
330
00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:27,460
I'm skilled at commanding
the attention of a room
331
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,761
and discussing
very important issues.
332
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:31,964
It has come to my attention
that the maintenance staff
333
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,437
is switching our toilet paper
from Charmin
334
00:16:35,570 --> 00:16:37,203
to generic.
335
00:16:37,272 --> 00:16:39,572
All those opposed to chafing,
please say "aye."
336
00:16:39,641 --> 00:16:40,576
ALL: Aye!
337
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,342
A, Neither type of opera
338
00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:45,545
or neither type of rap
is on sale.
339
00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:47,012
B, Neither type of jazz
340
00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:49,015
and neither type
of opera is on sale.
341
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:51,818
C, Neither type of opera
and neither type of soul...
342
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,458
Whoo! Party!
343
00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,458
Delta Nu, we love you!
344
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,494
Hey. Mmm-mmm.
345
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:01,560
Okay.
346
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:01,560
Okay.
347
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,996
I'm able to recall
hundreds of important details
348
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,198
at the drop of a hat.
349
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:07,333
Hey, Elle, do you
know what happened
350
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,702
on Days of our Lives
yesterday?
351
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:11,370
Why, yes, Margot, I do.
352
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:14,140
Once again we join Hope in
the search for her identity.
353
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:17,713
As you know, she's
been brainwashed
by the evil Stefano.
354
00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:21,450
Get set and go!
355
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,026
143.
356
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,763
(BRUISER WHINES)
357
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:37,896
(SIGHS)
358
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:41,567
I feel comfortable
using legal jargon
in everyday life.
359
00:17:41,636 --> 00:17:42,835
(BOY WOLF WHISTLES)
360
00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:44,340
I object!
361
00:17:58,687 --> 00:17:59,719
(ALL YELLING EXCITEDLY)
362
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:01,788
It's here! Elle!
363
00:18:01,857 --> 00:18:03,322
What?
364
00:18:01,857 --> 00:18:03,322
It's here!
365
00:18:03,391 --> 00:18:06,092
The LSAT scores!
It's here!
366
00:18:06,161 --> 00:18:08,164
GIRL: Open the scores!
367
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,867
This is so exciting.
368
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,867
Tell us!
369
00:18:15,737 --> 00:18:17,101
(GASPS)
370
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:19,839
179!
371
00:18:19,908 --> 00:18:21,544
(SCREAMING)
372
00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:31,620
179! 179!
373
00:18:40,428 --> 00:18:42,327
And that's why
you should vote for me,
374
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:46,235
Elle Woods, future lawyer
for the class of 2004.
375
00:18:52,907 --> 00:18:56,075
She does have
a 4.0 from CULA,
376
00:18:56,144 --> 00:18:58,514
and she got a 179
on her LSATs.
377
00:18:59,682 --> 00:19:00,682
A fashion major?
378
00:19:01,449 --> 00:19:03,582
Well, sir, we've never
had one before,
379
00:19:03,651 --> 00:19:05,584
and aren't we always
looking for diversity?
380
00:19:05,653 --> 00:19:09,321
Her list of
extracurricular
activities is impressive.
381
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,290
She was in
a Ricky Martin video.
382
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,527
Clearly she's
interested in music.
383
00:19:14,596 --> 00:19:19,331
She also designed
a line of faux fur panties
384
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,267
for her sorority's
charity project.
385
00:19:21,336 --> 00:19:23,335
She's a friend
to the animals
386
00:19:23,404 --> 00:19:25,474
as well as
a philanthropist.
387
00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:28,172
Elle Woods...
388
00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:32,648
Welcome to Harvard.
389
00:19:37,618 --> 00:19:40,289
♪ We could still
belong together
390
00:19:41,256 --> 00:19:44,623
♪ And together is much better
391
00:19:44,692 --> 00:19:47,896
♪ We're okay,
so, hey, don't worry now
392
00:19:49,030 --> 00:19:50,433
♪ Oh, wow
393
00:19:51,499 --> 00:19:53,903
♪ We could still
belong together
394
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:58,604
♪ And together's
so much better
395
00:19:58,673 --> 00:20:01,577
♪ We're okay,
so, hey, don't worry now
396
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:03,612
♪ Oh, wow ♪
397
00:20:34,508 --> 00:20:35,975
Oh, Bruiser!
It's so exciting!
398
00:20:36,044 --> 00:20:37,513
Look! Harvard!
399
00:20:38,212 --> 00:20:39,848
(BARKS)
400
00:20:38,212 --> 00:20:39,848
Are you excited?
401
00:20:50,824 --> 00:20:52,925
This is our new house
for the next three years.
402
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:54,526
Oh, are you thirsty?
403
00:20:54,595 --> 00:20:57,363
Okay, let's get you
some water.
404
00:20:57,432 --> 00:20:59,966
Sweetheart,
you just look parched.
405
00:21:00,035 --> 00:21:03,068
Hey, Brad, check out
Malibu Barbie!
406
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,308
MAN: Where's
the beach, honey?
407
00:21:06,107 --> 00:21:08,307
Here you go.
408
00:21:08,376 --> 00:21:10,813
Good boy. Warner's gonna be
so excited to see you.
409
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,146
Guys, this way.
410
00:21:13,215 --> 00:21:14,246
MAN: This ain't LA!
411
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,718
Come on, Bruiser.
412
00:21:17,685 --> 00:21:19,989
Check her out.
413
00:21:17,685 --> 00:21:19,989
Look at the way she walks.
414
00:21:21,389 --> 00:21:22,621
Oh, it's gonna be
so exciting.
415
00:21:22,690 --> 00:21:24,994
Now, don't be scared.
Everyone will love you.
416
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,767
Hi. Woods, comma, Elle.
417
00:21:37,239 --> 00:21:39,442
Class schedule,
map, book list.
418
00:21:43,144 --> 00:21:44,443
Wait a second.
419
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,310
My social events
calendar is missing.
420
00:21:47,115 --> 00:21:48,447
Your what?
421
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:51,416
Social events.
You know, mixers,
formals,
422
00:21:51,485 --> 00:21:53,589
clam bakes,
trips to the Cape.
423
00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,063
Okay. Has Warner
Huntington III
checked in yet?
424
00:22:00,796 --> 00:22:04,262
Um... No.
425
00:22:04,331 --> 00:22:07,770
You know, maybe you should
check with the cruise
director on the lido deck.
426
00:22:08,971 --> 00:22:10,203
Hmm.
427
00:22:10,272 --> 00:22:12,771
Okay. Welcome
to law school.
428
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,302
This is the part where
we go around in a circle
429
00:22:15,371 --> 00:22:18,447
and everyone says a little bit
about themselves.
430
00:22:19,247 --> 00:22:20,908
Let's start with you.
431
00:22:20,977 --> 00:22:23,316
Uh, my name
is David Kidney.
432
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,888
I have a Masters
in Russian Literature,
433
00:22:26,988 --> 00:22:28,757
a Ph.D. in Biochemistry,
434
00:22:29,491 --> 00:22:32,225
and for the last 18 months
435
00:22:32,294 --> 00:22:34,897
I've been de-worming
orphans in Somalia.
436
00:22:36,298 --> 00:22:38,631
LEADER: Awesome.
What about you?
437
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:40,365
Hey. How you doin'?
I'm Enid Wexler.
438
00:22:40,434 --> 00:22:42,335
I got a Ph.D. from Berkeley
in Women's Studies,
439
00:22:42,404 --> 00:22:44,370
emphasis in
the History of Combat,
440
00:22:44,439 --> 00:22:47,406
and last year
I single-handedly
organized
441
00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:50,176
the march for Lesbians
Against Drunk Driving.
442
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,048
Killer.
443
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,048
Thanks. Good times.
444
00:22:53,215 --> 00:22:54,781
Aaron Mitchell.
445
00:22:54,850 --> 00:22:56,482
I graduated first in
my class from Princeton,
446
00:22:56,551 --> 00:22:58,851
I have an IQ of 187,
447
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,254
and it's been suggested
that Stephen Hawking
448
00:23:01,323 --> 00:23:03,526
stole his
Brief History of Time
449
00:23:04,793 --> 00:23:06,892
from my
fourth grade paper.
450
00:23:06,961 --> 00:23:08,392
LEADER: Cool.
451
00:23:09,163 --> 00:23:11,430
Me?
452
00:23:09,163 --> 00:23:11,430
Yeah.
453
00:23:11,499 --> 00:23:15,735
Okay. Hi. I'm Elle Woods
and this is Bruiser Woods,
454
00:23:15,804 --> 00:23:18,570
and we're both
Gemini vegetarians.
455
00:23:18,639 --> 00:23:20,772
I have a Bachelor's degree
in Fashion Merchandising
456
00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:24,711
from CULA, and I was
a Zeta Lambda Nu
sweetheart,
457
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,578
president of my sorority,
Delta Nu,
458
00:23:26,647 --> 00:23:29,848
and last year I was
Homecoming Queen.
459
00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:33,186
Oh! Two weeks ago I saw
Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal,
460
00:23:33,255 --> 00:23:34,353
and I talked her
out of buying
461
00:23:34,422 --> 00:23:36,222
this truly heinous
angora sweater.
462
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:37,918
Whoever said orange
was the new pink
463
00:23:37,987 --> 00:23:39,862
was seriously
disturbed.
464
00:23:40,495 --> 00:23:41,965
(ELLE GIGGLES)
465
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:46,532
(SIGHS) Wish me luck, Bruiser.
466
00:23:46,601 --> 00:23:49,672
This is my first class
as a serious law student.
467
00:23:55,744 --> 00:23:57,880
I totally look the part.
468
00:23:58,947 --> 00:23:59,949
(WHINES)
469
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,853
GIRL: There is no way
She got in here on her own.
470
00:24:06,922 --> 00:24:07,924
Hi!
471
00:24:09,358 --> 00:24:10,593
Hey!
472
00:24:21,937 --> 00:24:23,006
(INHALES SHARPLY)
473
00:24:29,811 --> 00:24:30,980
Elle?
474
00:24:32,748 --> 00:24:36,549
Warner? I totally
forgot you go here.
475
00:24:36,618 --> 00:24:38,952
What are you
talking about?
476
00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:41,320
I'm sorry. Are you
here to see me?
477
00:24:41,389 --> 00:24:43,592
No, silly. I go here.
478
00:24:44,393 --> 00:24:46,291
You go where?
479
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,896
Harvard. Law school.
480
00:24:49,264 --> 00:24:51,034
You got into Harvard Law?
481
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,867
What, like it's hard?
482
00:24:53,936 --> 00:24:55,901
Oh, my gosh, Warner,
it's gonna be so great.
483
00:24:55,970 --> 00:24:58,270
I'm planning this great mixer.
You totally have to help me.
484
00:24:58,339 --> 00:25:01,307
I'm thinking, like,
a luau or maybe,
like, casino night.
485
00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:05,178
This is gonna be
just like senior year
except for funner.
486
00:25:05,247 --> 00:25:06,645
Uh-huh.
487
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,715
Oh, uh, time to go.
I have to go to class,
488
00:25:08,784 --> 00:25:11,217
but meet me after
on the benches, okay?
489
00:25:11,286 --> 00:25:12,788
All right, bye!
490
00:25:29,037 --> 00:25:32,472
STROMWELL:
A legal education
means you will learn
491
00:25:32,541 --> 00:25:34,810
to speak in a new language.
492
00:25:36,711 --> 00:25:38,478
You will be taught
to achieve insight
493
00:25:38,547 --> 00:25:41,614
into the world around you
494
00:25:41,683 --> 00:25:45,721
and to sharply question
what you know.
495
00:25:47,956 --> 00:25:50,656
The seat you have picked
will be yours
496
00:25:50,725 --> 00:25:53,729
for the next 9 months
of your life.
497
00:25:55,130 --> 00:25:57,800
And those of you
in the front row...
498
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:00,069
Beware.
499
00:26:02,637 --> 00:26:06,539
"The law is reason
free from passion."
500
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:09,678
Does anyone know
who spoke those
immortal words?
501
00:26:12,315 --> 00:26:13,349
Yes?
502
00:26:14,149 --> 00:26:15,251
Aristotle.
503
00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:22,822
Are you sure?
504
00:26:22,891 --> 00:26:23,956
Yes.
505
00:26:24,025 --> 00:26:26,996
Would you be willing to
stake your life on it?
506
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:30,266
I think so.
507
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,001
Oh.
508
00:26:33,469 --> 00:26:35,402
What about
509
00:26:35,471 --> 00:26:36,839
Ow!
510
00:26:35,471 --> 00:26:36,839
his life?
511
00:26:41,544 --> 00:26:43,176
I don't know.
512
00:26:43,245 --> 00:26:48,514
Well, I recommend
knowing before speaking.
513
00:26:48,583 --> 00:26:52,885
The law leaves much room
for interpretation,
514
00:26:52,954 --> 00:26:56,159
but very little
for self-doubt.
515
00:26:57,626 --> 00:26:59,128
And you were right.
516
00:27:00,562 --> 00:27:02,165
It was Aristotle.
517
00:27:03,159 --> 00:27:04,930
GIRL: (SOFTLY) Good job.
518
00:27:04,999 --> 00:27:08,767
Now, I assume all
of you have read
pages 1 through 48
519
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:12,038
and are now well-versed in
subject matter jurisdiction.
520
00:27:12,107 --> 00:27:15,708
Who can tell us about
Gordon v. Steele?
521
00:27:15,777 --> 00:27:18,247
Let's call on someone
from the hot zone.
522
00:27:36,432 --> 00:27:37,766
Elle Woods?
523
00:27:39,235 --> 00:27:41,134
(LAUGHS) Oh.
524
00:27:41,203 --> 00:27:45,708
Um, actually, I wasn't
aware that we had
an assignment.
525
00:27:49,378 --> 00:27:50,846
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
526
00:27:58,454 --> 00:28:00,386
Vivian Kensington.
527
00:28:00,455 --> 00:28:03,423
Do you think it's
acceptable that Ms. Woods
is not prepared?
528
00:28:03,492 --> 00:28:05,024
(ELLE GIGGLES)
529
00:28:05,093 --> 00:28:06,095
No.
530
00:28:09,498 --> 00:28:11,230
I don't.
531
00:28:11,299 --> 00:28:15,001
Would you support
my decision to ask
her to leave class
532
00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:17,740
and to return only
when she is prepared?
533
00:28:18,507 --> 00:28:19,842
Absolutely.
534
00:28:25,013 --> 00:28:26,182
(GASPS)
535
00:28:38,693 --> 00:28:40,193
Now, Ms. Kensington,
536
00:28:40,262 --> 00:28:43,497
did diversity jurisdiction
exist in this case?
537
00:28:43,566 --> 00:28:45,401
No, it did not.
538
00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:50,139
Good. How about
in the case of
Owens v. McCullogh?
539
00:28:52,068 --> 00:28:54,443
(MUTTERING)
540
00:28:55,111 --> 00:28:56,079
Ugh.
541
00:28:57,979 --> 00:28:59,983
(EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION)
542
00:29:03,852 --> 00:29:05,922
Excuse me.
Are you okay?
543
00:29:07,389 --> 00:29:09,088
Yeah.
544
00:29:09,157 --> 00:29:12,959
Do they put you
on the spot like
that all the time?
545
00:29:13,028 --> 00:29:15,429
The professors?
Yeah, they tend
to do that.
546
00:29:15,498 --> 00:29:17,396
Socratic method.
547
00:29:17,465 --> 00:29:21,395
If you don't know the
answer, they're just
gonna kick you out?
548
00:29:21,464 --> 00:29:23,002
So you have
Stromwell, huh?
549
00:29:23,071 --> 00:29:25,037
Yes! Did she do that
to you, too?
550
00:29:25,106 --> 00:29:27,072
No. But she did
make me cry once.
551
00:29:27,141 --> 00:29:29,875
Not in class. I waited
till I got to my room,
552
00:29:29,944 --> 00:29:32,311
but yeah, she'll
kick you in the...
553
00:29:32,380 --> 00:29:33,573
Or wherever,
you know.
554
00:29:33,642 --> 00:29:35,548
But, yeah, she's tough.
Really tough.
555
00:29:35,617 --> 00:29:38,117
(SIGHS) Great.
556
00:29:38,186 --> 00:29:41,253
Don't worry, though,
it gets better.
Who else do you have?
557
00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:45,191
I have Callahan,
Royalton,
and Levinthal.
558
00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:48,027
Yeah. Let's see, speak up
in Callahan's class.
559
00:29:48,096 --> 00:29:49,957
He really likes people
that are opinionated.
560
00:29:50,026 --> 00:29:50,997
Okay.
561
00:29:51,066 --> 00:29:52,799
And in Royalton's class,
562
00:29:52,868 --> 00:29:56,001
uh, try to get
a seat in the back.
563
00:29:56,070 --> 00:29:59,204
He tends to spit
when he talks about
products liability.
564
00:29:59,273 --> 00:30:03,209
And for Levinthal,
make sure you
read the footnotes,
565
00:30:03,278 --> 00:30:06,215
'cause that's where
he gets a lot of his
exam questions from.
566
00:30:06,515 --> 00:30:07,850
Right.
567
00:30:09,851 --> 00:30:12,255
Wow. I'm really glad
I met you.
568
00:30:14,089 --> 00:30:15,124
Hey.
569
00:30:16,058 --> 00:30:17,690
Are you a third year?
570
00:30:17,759 --> 00:30:19,926
Well, I'm...
571
00:30:17,759 --> 00:30:19,926
WARNER: Hey, Elle.
572
00:30:19,995 --> 00:30:22,298
Hi! Thanks for
all your help.
573
00:30:22,731 --> 00:30:24,233
Good luck.
574
00:30:26,468 --> 00:30:27,667
Hi, Warner.
575
00:30:27,736 --> 00:30:30,439
Hi. Uh, so...
576
00:30:31,806 --> 00:30:33,472
How was your first class?
577
00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:35,707
Oh, it was good,
except for this
horrible preppy girl
578
00:30:35,776 --> 00:30:37,544
who tried to make me look bad
in front of the professor.
579
00:30:37,613 --> 00:30:39,378
But no biggie.
580
00:30:39,447 --> 00:30:42,048
You're here now.
So how was your summer?
581
00:30:42,117 --> 00:30:43,917
(STAMMERING)
Good. It was good.
582
00:30:43,986 --> 00:30:45,418
Did you do
anything exciting?
583
00:30:45,487 --> 00:30:46,555
Uh...
584
00:30:47,923 --> 00:30:49,722
(CHUCKLES) Hey!
585
00:30:49,791 --> 00:30:53,793
Have you met
Vivian?
586
00:30:53,862 --> 00:30:55,999
Oh, hi.
Vivian Kensington.
587
00:30:58,667 --> 00:30:59,866
Do you know her?
588
00:30:59,935 --> 00:31:01,668
Uh, she's...
589
00:31:01,737 --> 00:31:03,239
I'm his fiancee.
590
00:31:09,211 --> 00:31:12,281
Uh... I'm sorry.
I just hallucinated.
591
00:31:12,847 --> 00:31:14,117
What?
592
00:31:14,650 --> 00:31:16,716
Yeah.
593
00:31:16,785 --> 00:31:19,085
She was my girlfriend
in prep school.
594
00:31:19,154 --> 00:31:21,615
And, well, we got back
together this summer
595
00:31:21,684 --> 00:31:24,657
at my grandmother's
birthday party.
596
00:31:24,726 --> 00:31:26,926
Warner told me
all about you.
597
00:31:26,995 --> 00:31:29,165
You're famous
at our club.
598
00:31:30,231 --> 00:31:33,132
But he didn't tell me
you'd be here.
599
00:31:33,201 --> 00:31:36,005
Pooh Bear, I didn't know
she would be here.
600
00:31:39,408 --> 00:31:40,740
Excuse me.
601
00:31:40,809 --> 00:31:41,741
(ROCK MUSIC BLARING
OVER CAR STEREO)
602
00:31:41,810 --> 00:31:43,412
(ENGINE ROARING)
603
00:31:57,726 --> 00:31:58,725
Oh, thank God!
604
00:31:58,794 --> 00:32:00,629
(PEOPLE YELLING)
605
00:32:04,032 --> 00:32:05,534
(TIRES SCREECH)
606
00:32:12,941 --> 00:32:14,377
(SOBBING)
607
00:32:16,011 --> 00:32:18,281
Are you free?
It's an emergency.
608
00:32:18,780 --> 00:32:20,216
Bad day?
609
00:32:21,183 --> 00:32:23,386
(SIGHS)
You can't even imagine.
610
00:32:26,488 --> 00:32:27,453
Spill.
611
00:32:27,522 --> 00:32:30,422
I worked so hard
to get into law school,
612
00:32:30,491 --> 00:32:33,325
I blew off Greek Week
to study for the LSATs,
613
00:32:33,394 --> 00:32:36,228
I even hired a Coppola
to direct my
admissions video.
614
00:32:36,297 --> 00:32:37,596
All to get my boyfriend
Warner back,
615
00:32:37,665 --> 00:32:40,800
and now he's engaged
to this awful girl Vivian,
616
00:32:40,869 --> 00:32:42,868
so it was all
for nothing and I...
617
00:32:42,937 --> 00:32:44,407
I just wish...
618
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,108
I just wish I had
never gone to Harvard.
619
00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:51,644
After you went to
all that trouble.
620
00:32:51,713 --> 00:32:53,112
He's engaged!
621
00:32:53,181 --> 00:32:55,080
She's got the 6-carat
Harry Winston
622
00:32:55,149 --> 00:32:57,386
on her bony,
unpolished finger.
623
00:32:58,420 --> 00:32:59,455
Oh.
624
00:33:00,922 --> 00:33:03,055
What am I supposed to do?
625
00:33:03,124 --> 00:33:05,191
Well, you're asking
the wrong girl.
626
00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:07,627
I mean, I'm with
my guy 8 years,
627
00:33:07,696 --> 00:33:09,161
and then
one day it's,
628
00:33:09,230 --> 00:33:11,567
"I met someone else.
Move out."
629
00:33:12,568 --> 00:33:15,668
Oh, no. That's awful.
630
00:33:15,737 --> 00:33:19,108
Dewey kept the trailer
and my precious
baby Rufus.
631
00:33:22,510 --> 00:33:24,611
I didn't even get to throw
him a birthday party.
632
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,149
No!
633
00:33:26,982 --> 00:33:29,109
I mean, what's
a girl to do?
634
00:33:29,178 --> 00:33:33,219
He's a guy who followed his
pecker to greener pastures,
635
00:33:33,288 --> 00:33:36,421
and I'm a middle-aged
high-school dropout
636
00:33:36,490 --> 00:33:39,262
who's got stretch marks
and a fat ass.
637
00:33:39,962 --> 00:33:41,728
That's terrible.
638
00:33:41,797 --> 00:33:44,100
Yep. Happens every day.
639
00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:49,001
So what's this Vivian got
that you don't have?
640
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:50,804
Three tits?
641
00:33:50,873 --> 00:33:52,505
(SIGHS) She's
from Connecticut.
642
00:33:52,574 --> 00:33:54,974
She belongs to his
stupid country club.
643
00:33:55,043 --> 00:33:58,072
She as pretty as you?
644
00:33:58,141 --> 00:34:00,646
She could use some
mascara and some
serious highlights,
645
00:34:00,715 --> 00:34:04,048
but she's not completely
unfortunate looking.
646
00:34:06,721 --> 00:34:08,187
Hello, ladies.
647
00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:10,393
How you doing?
Sign here.
648
00:34:12,894 --> 00:34:14,130
(SIGHS)
649
00:34:15,798 --> 00:34:16,796
Hi.
650
00:34:16,865 --> 00:34:18,434
Oh, jeez.
651
00:34:19,601 --> 00:34:21,266
Oh, look what I did.
652
00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:23,472
See you later.
653
00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:23,472
WOMAN: Bye-bye, sugar.
654
00:34:25,474 --> 00:34:27,373
Oh, shit.
655
00:34:27,442 --> 00:34:30,346
Could I have been
any more
goddamn spastic?
656
00:34:30,879 --> 00:34:32,076
It's okay.
657
00:34:33,248 --> 00:34:34,914
So, are you sure
this Warner guy
658
00:34:34,983 --> 00:34:37,049
is, like, "the one"?
659
00:34:37,118 --> 00:34:39,688
Definitely.
I love him.
660
00:34:40,589 --> 00:34:41,624
Hmm.
661
00:34:43,325 --> 00:34:46,692
Well, if a girl like you
can't hold on to her man,
662
00:34:46,761 --> 00:34:50,366
then there sure as hell isn't
any hope for the rest of us.
663
00:34:51,966 --> 00:34:53,736
What are you waiting for?
664
00:34:56,071 --> 00:34:57,740
Steal the bastard back.
665
00:35:02,043 --> 00:35:03,342
I should warn you
that in addition
666
00:35:03,411 --> 00:35:05,178
to competing
against each other
667
00:35:05,247 --> 00:35:07,746
for the top grade
in this class,
668
00:35:07,815 --> 00:35:10,315
you will also be competing
for one of my firm's
669
00:35:10,384 --> 00:35:14,386
highly coveted
four internship spots
next year
670
00:35:14,455 --> 00:35:17,560
where you will get
to assist on
actual cases.
671
00:35:18,193 --> 00:35:20,329
Let the bloodbath begin.
672
00:35:22,497 --> 00:35:25,301
Now, let's commence
with our usual torture.
673
00:35:26,802 --> 00:35:28,171
Ms. Woods...
674
00:35:29,504 --> 00:35:31,437
Would you rather have a client
who committed a crime
675
00:35:31,506 --> 00:35:34,543
malum in se
or malum prohibitum?
676
00:35:39,714 --> 00:35:40,914
Neither.
677
00:35:40,983 --> 00:35:43,182
And why is that?
678
00:35:43,251 --> 00:35:45,318
I would rather have
a client who's innocent.
679
00:35:45,387 --> 00:35:47,920
(STUDENTS GIGGLING)
680
00:35:47,989 --> 00:35:50,393
CALLAHAN: Dare to dream,
Ms. Woods.
681
00:35:53,361 --> 00:35:56,160
Ms. Kensington,
which would you prefer?
682
00:35:57,031 --> 00:35:58,634
Malum prohibitum.
683
00:36:00,234 --> 00:36:03,368
Because then the client
would have committed
a regulatory infraction
684
00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:06,271
as opposed to
a dangerous crime.
685
00:36:06,340 --> 00:36:08,473
CALLAHAN:
Well done, Ms. Kensington.
686
00:36:08,542 --> 00:36:11,377
You've obviously
done your homework.
687
00:36:11,446 --> 00:36:14,047
Now let us look at
malum prohibitum
688
00:36:14,116 --> 00:36:15,948
a little more closely.
689
00:36:16,017 --> 00:36:18,387
It has been said...
Yes, Ms. Woods?
690
00:36:20,088 --> 00:36:21,153
I changed my mind.
691
00:36:21,222 --> 00:36:23,255
I'd pick
the dangerous one
692
00:36:23,324 --> 00:36:25,628
'cause I'm not afraid
of a challenge.
693
00:36:29,526 --> 00:36:30,963
MAN 1: Hike!
694
00:36:31,032 --> 00:36:33,032
I'm going inside!
695
00:36:33,101 --> 00:36:34,533
MAN 1: Pick him up!
Pick him up!
696
00:36:34,602 --> 00:36:36,969
Run, run, run!
Run right through ya!
697
00:36:37,038 --> 00:36:38,104
MAN 2: I got him!
I got him!
698
00:36:38,173 --> 00:36:40,276
Whoa, bro.
Who is that?
699
00:36:44,112 --> 00:36:45,548
(MEN EXCLAIMING)
700
00:36:46,815 --> 00:36:48,247
Guys...
701
00:36:48,316 --> 00:36:50,353
MAN 1: Can she play?
702
00:36:48,316 --> 00:36:50,353
Hi.
703
00:36:51,654 --> 00:36:53,689
MAN 2: Warner,
you know her?
704
00:36:54,989 --> 00:36:57,023
Get outta here. Hi.
705
00:36:57,092 --> 00:36:58,594
(MEN LAUGHING)
706
00:37:03,832 --> 00:37:05,231
Hi, everybody.
707
00:37:03,832 --> 00:37:05,231
Elle!
708
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,365
What are you
doing here?
709
00:37:06,434 --> 00:37:07,667
I've come to join
your study group.
710
00:37:07,736 --> 00:37:09,035
And look,
I brought sustenance.
711
00:37:09,104 --> 00:37:10,369
Who's first?
712
00:37:10,438 --> 00:37:12,708
Mmm-mmm. Mmm-mmm.
Our group is full.
713
00:37:14,542 --> 00:37:16,509
Oh, is this, like,
an RSVP thing?
714
00:37:16,578 --> 00:37:19,278
No. It's, like,
a smart people thing.
715
00:37:19,347 --> 00:37:21,514
And as Viv said,
we're full.
716
00:37:21,583 --> 00:37:23,816
Come on, guys,
we can make room
for one more.
717
00:37:23,885 --> 00:37:25,250
(KICKS)
718
00:37:23,885 --> 00:37:25,250
Ow.
719
00:37:25,319 --> 00:37:27,790
We've already assigned
the outlines.
720
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:30,493
The answer is no.
721
00:37:38,666 --> 00:37:41,304
Oh, okay.
I'll just leave, then.
722
00:37:42,971 --> 00:37:43,940
Bye.
723
00:37:49,577 --> 00:37:51,410
Hey, maybe there's,
like, a sorority
724
00:37:51,479 --> 00:37:53,846
you could, like,
join instead, like?
725
00:37:53,915 --> 00:37:55,614
You know, if you had
come to a rush party,
726
00:37:55,683 --> 00:37:57,449
I would have at least
been nice to you.
727
00:37:57,518 --> 00:37:59,652
Oh, is that before you
voted against me
728
00:37:59,721 --> 00:38:02,155
and then called me
a dyke behind my back?
729
00:38:02,224 --> 00:38:03,556
I don't use that word.
730
00:38:03,625 --> 00:38:04,589
(SCOFFS)
731
00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:06,126
You must have
heard it from Vivian.
732
00:38:06,195 --> 00:38:07,363
(GASPS)
733
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,043
(SIGHS)
734
00:38:26,982 --> 00:38:28,017
(DIALING)
735
00:38:31,119 --> 00:38:32,719
(PHONE RINGS)
736
00:38:32,788 --> 00:38:35,020
MARGOT: Hello?
737
00:38:32,788 --> 00:38:35,020
Hey, it's me.
738
00:38:35,089 --> 00:38:38,594
(GASPS) It's Elle!
Guess what I'm doing
right this second!
739
00:38:39,494 --> 00:38:40,988
ELLE: I don't know. What?
740
00:38:41,057 --> 00:38:43,466
I'm picking out
my wedding dress!
741
00:38:44,032 --> 00:38:45,030
What?
742
00:38:45,099 --> 00:38:47,567
(GIGGLING) Josh proposed!
743
00:38:47,636 --> 00:38:49,772
Did you get
the rock yet?
744
00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:52,438
Um...almost.
745
00:38:52,507 --> 00:38:54,307
Well, hurry up so
you can come home!
746
00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:56,342
We miss you!
747
00:38:56,411 --> 00:38:59,278
I miss you guys, too.
The people here are so vile.
748
00:38:59,347 --> 00:39:00,747
Hardly anybody
speaks to me...
749
00:39:00,816 --> 00:39:03,686
Oh, my God! I almost
forgot to tell you!
750
00:39:04,052 --> 00:39:05,251
What?
751
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,748
I got bangs!
My hair is so now.
752
00:39:07,817 --> 00:39:09,421
Really?
753
00:39:07,817 --> 00:39:09,421
Yeah.
754
00:39:09,490 --> 00:39:10,956
Okay, so just
listen to me.
755
00:39:11,025 --> 00:39:14,460
Keep June 1st open.
You're one of
my bridesmaids,
756
00:39:14,529 --> 00:39:16,728
and give Warner our love,
757
00:39:16,797 --> 00:39:18,931
because I'm
getting married!
I'm getting married...
758
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,569
(DRESS RIPPING)
759
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,569
Ahhh!
760
00:39:22,504 --> 00:39:23,839
(DIAL TONE DRONING)
761
00:39:25,808 --> 00:39:26,842
Hmm.
762
00:39:29,310 --> 00:39:32,472
So don't forget.
8:00 at 45 Dunston Street.
763
00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:34,947
It'll be a really
nice party.
764
00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:34,947
MAN: Okay. We'll be there.
765
00:39:35,016 --> 00:39:38,417
VIVIAN: Oh, and don't forget
to bring your own merlot!
766
00:39:38,486 --> 00:39:39,952
No way! Is somebody
at this school
767
00:39:40,021 --> 00:39:41,890
actually
having a party?
768
00:39:42,658 --> 00:39:43,692
Yes.
769
00:39:45,955 --> 00:39:47,259
But it's a costume party.
770
00:39:47,328 --> 00:39:49,732
You probably wouldn't
want to come.
771
00:39:50,699 --> 00:39:52,832
I love costume parties.
772
00:39:52,901 --> 00:39:56,906
Oh. Well, then, I guess
we'll see you there.
773
00:39:58,039 --> 00:39:58,841
Okay.
774
00:40:00,441 --> 00:40:02,745
Oh, at 45 Dunston Street.
Mmm-hmm. Okay.
775
00:40:05,180 --> 00:40:06,682
(GROWLING)
776
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,123
(MUSIC BLARING OVER SPEAKERS)
777
00:40:18,627 --> 00:40:20,529
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
778
00:40:22,230 --> 00:40:24,467
Oh, my God!
779
00:40:26,968 --> 00:40:28,938
(PEOPLE WHISPERING)
780
00:40:30,839 --> 00:40:31,975
MAN: Hey.
781
00:40:42,017 --> 00:40:46,085
Thanks for inviting me, girls.
This party is super fun.
782
00:40:46,154 --> 00:40:48,387
(LAUGHS)
Nice outfit.
783
00:40:48,456 --> 00:40:49,922
Oh, I like
your outfit, too.
784
00:40:49,991 --> 00:40:52,158
Except when I dress up
as a frigid bitch,
785
00:40:52,227 --> 00:40:54,327
I try not to look
so constipated.
786
00:40:54,396 --> 00:40:55,631
(LAUGHS)
787
00:40:59,234 --> 00:41:01,367
She's horrible.
788
00:41:01,436 --> 00:41:03,539
You've got the
ring, sweetie.
789
00:41:05,341 --> 00:41:07,406
Mmm.
790
00:41:05,341 --> 00:41:07,406
Mmm.
791
00:41:07,475 --> 00:41:09,742
MAN: Nice ears.
792
00:41:07,475 --> 00:41:09,742
How you doin'?
793
00:41:09,811 --> 00:41:10,877
ENID: Warner,
the English language,
794
00:41:10,946 --> 00:41:12,846
it is all about
subliminal domination.
795
00:41:12,915 --> 00:41:14,413
I mean, take the
word semester.
796
00:41:14,482 --> 00:41:16,449
Okay? This is a perfect
example of this school's
797
00:41:16,518 --> 00:41:18,750
discriminatory preference
of semen to ovaries.
798
00:41:18,819 --> 00:41:20,853
That's why I'm petitioning
to have next term
799
00:41:20,922 --> 00:41:23,289
be referred to
as the winter ovester.
800
00:41:23,358 --> 00:41:24,994
Excuse me.
Hey, Warner.
801
00:41:25,461 --> 00:41:27,359
Wow!
802
00:41:27,428 --> 00:41:29,362
Well, don't you look
like a walking felony.
803
00:41:29,431 --> 00:41:31,096
Thank you.
You're so sweet.
804
00:41:31,165 --> 00:41:32,297
(ENID GROANS)
805
00:41:32,366 --> 00:41:33,733
Are you having fun?
806
00:41:33,802 --> 00:41:37,403
I am now. What's
with the costume?
807
00:41:37,472 --> 00:41:39,700
Oh, I just decided
to dress up.
808
00:41:39,769 --> 00:41:41,140
Really.
809
00:41:41,209 --> 00:41:42,709
You know,
I feel like we barely
get to see each other
810
00:41:42,778 --> 00:41:44,209
since we've been here.
811
00:41:44,278 --> 00:41:47,279
Oh, I know. I'm so busy
with these case studies
and hypos.
812
00:41:47,348 --> 00:41:49,415
I know what you mean.
I can't imagine
doing all this
813
00:41:49,484 --> 00:41:51,651
and Callahan's
internship next year.
814
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:54,020
That's gonna be so much.
815
00:41:54,089 --> 00:41:56,723
Oh, Elle, come on,
you're never gonna
get the grades
816
00:41:56,792 --> 00:41:59,358
to qualify for
one of those spots.
817
00:41:59,427 --> 00:42:01,730
You're not smart
enough, sweetie.
818
00:42:03,297 --> 00:42:04,630
Wait, am I on glue
819
00:42:04,699 --> 00:42:07,200
or did we not get into
the same law school,
Warner?
820
00:42:07,269 --> 00:42:08,601
Yeah, but...
821
00:42:08,670 --> 00:42:10,937
But what?
We took the same LSATs.
822
00:42:11,006 --> 00:42:12,939
and we're taking
the same classes.
823
00:42:13,008 --> 00:42:17,209
I know, but come on,
Elle, be serious.
824
00:42:17,278 --> 00:42:20,649
You can do something
more valuable
with your time.
825
00:42:23,817 --> 00:42:26,722
I'm never gonna be
good enough for you, am I?
826
00:42:31,893 --> 00:42:33,896
Elle... Oh, come on.
827
00:42:31,893 --> 00:42:33,896
Just forget it!
828
00:42:35,531 --> 00:42:37,163
(POP SONG PLAYING)
829
00:42:37,232 --> 00:42:40,634
I'll show you how
valuable Elle Woods
can be!
830
00:42:40,703 --> 00:42:44,103
♪ I'm not your average
type of girl
831
00:42:44,172 --> 00:42:47,373
♪ I'm gonna show the world
the strength in me
832
00:42:47,442 --> 00:42:49,943
♪ That sometimes
they can't see
833
00:42:50,012 --> 00:42:51,244
(CLEARS THROAT)
834
00:42:51,313 --> 00:42:52,612
♪ I'm about to switch my style
835
00:42:52,681 --> 00:42:54,214
(SIGHS) Don't ask.
836
00:42:54,283 --> 00:42:55,714
Wasn't gonna.
837
00:42:55,783 --> 00:42:58,817
♪ But I will prove
I can conquer anything
838
00:42:58,886 --> 00:43:03,322
♪ So from my head to toe
I'm taking full control
839
00:43:03,391 --> 00:43:05,057
♪ I'll make it on my own
840
00:43:05,126 --> 00:43:08,555
♪ This time
841
00:43:05,126 --> 00:43:08,555
I love that sweater.
It's Chanel.
842
00:43:08,624 --> 00:43:10,563
♪ Better watch out
Going for the knockout
843
00:43:10,632 --> 00:43:12,664
♪ And I won't stop
Till I'm on top now
844
00:43:12,733 --> 00:43:14,128
♪ Not gonna give up
845
00:43:12,733 --> 00:43:14,128
Was she
carrying books?
846
00:43:14,197 --> 00:43:17,136
♪ Until I get what's mine
847
00:43:17,205 --> 00:43:19,638
♪ Better check that
I'm about to upset
848
00:43:19,707 --> 00:43:21,641
♪ And I'm hot now
So you better step back
849
00:43:21,710 --> 00:43:23,008
♪ I'm taking over
850
00:43:23,077 --> 00:43:25,277
Thanks.
851
00:43:23,077 --> 00:43:25,277
♪ So watch me shine ♪
852
00:43:25,346 --> 00:43:28,151
So, you've filed a claim.
853
00:43:29,418 --> 00:43:31,087
What next?
854
00:43:32,154 --> 00:43:33,256
Ms. Woods?
855
00:43:36,358 --> 00:43:38,524
Don't you need
to have evidence?
856
00:43:38,593 --> 00:43:40,525
Meaning?
857
00:43:40,594 --> 00:43:43,395
Meaning you need
reasonable belief
858
00:43:43,464 --> 00:43:45,430
that your claim
should have,
859
00:43:45,499 --> 00:43:48,671
like,
evidentiary support?
860
00:43:50,939 --> 00:43:53,673
And what kind of
evidentiary support
861
00:43:53,742 --> 00:43:56,510
does this case require?
862
00:43:56,579 --> 00:43:58,147
Yo Quiero Taco Bell?
863
00:43:59,548 --> 00:44:01,184
(BARKS)
864
00:44:04,486 --> 00:44:07,056
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
865
00:44:08,256 --> 00:44:10,990
Welcome back. Now,
in the article,
you talk about
866
00:44:11,059 --> 00:44:14,193
all sorts of things.
Corrupt cops. ...
867
00:44:14,262 --> 00:44:16,229
♪ Better watch out
Going for the knockout
868
00:44:16,298 --> 00:44:18,397
♪ And I won't stop
Till I'm on top now
869
00:44:18,466 --> 00:44:22,666
♪ Not gonna give up
Until I get what's mine
870
00:44:24,973 --> 00:44:27,977
And the purpose of
diminished capacity is?
871
00:44:30,512 --> 00:44:32,211
To negate mens rea?
872
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,213
♪ Better watch out
Going for the knockout
873
00:44:34,282 --> 00:44:36,682
♪ And I won't stop
Till I'm on top now
874
00:44:36,751 --> 00:44:41,187
♪ Not gonna give up
Until I get what's mine
875
00:44:41,256 --> 00:44:44,090
♪ Better check that
I'm about to upset
And I'm hot now
876
00:44:44,159 --> 00:44:47,359
♪ So you better step back
I'm taking over
877
00:44:47,428 --> 00:44:49,865
♪ So watch me shine ♪
878
00:44:51,733 --> 00:44:53,299
Are you ready?
879
00:44:53,368 --> 00:44:54,337
(SIGHS)
880
00:44:55,171 --> 00:44:56,235
No.
881
00:44:56,304 --> 00:44:58,338
Oh, yes,
yes, you are!
882
00:44:58,407 --> 00:45:00,143
Go. You can do this.
883
00:45:03,144 --> 00:45:05,848
Listen to me, Dewey.
You shut your mouth.
884
00:45:06,982 --> 00:45:09,252
No, you shut
your big mouth.
885
00:45:10,586 --> 00:45:12,355
I'm doing
all the talking.
886
00:45:13,454 --> 00:45:14,924
(CHATTERING ON TELEVISION)
887
00:45:16,791 --> 00:45:18,962
(MAN LAUGHING)
888
00:45:23,098 --> 00:45:26,135
What the hell do you want?
We're eating lunch.
889
00:45:27,330 --> 00:45:29,568
I just thought
that, um...
890
00:45:29,637 --> 00:45:31,971
You just thought
you could come here
891
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:33,440
and show me what I'm
definitely not missing?
892
00:45:33,509 --> 00:45:35,078
(LAUGHS CRUELLY)
893
00:45:36,711 --> 00:45:38,443
That's not why I came by.
894
00:45:38,512 --> 00:45:40,045
Hey, Paulette, how
many times you gonna
come over here,
895
00:45:40,114 --> 00:45:42,582
begging me to take
you back? Huh?
896
00:45:42,651 --> 00:45:44,020
I was, um...
897
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:45,652
I...
898
00:45:45,721 --> 00:45:47,620
ELLE: Dewey Newcombe?
899
00:45:47,689 --> 00:45:49,923
Who's asking?
900
00:45:49,992 --> 00:45:53,425
I'm Elle Woods,
Miss Bonifante's attorney.
901
00:45:53,494 --> 00:45:57,057
And I'm here to discuss
the legal situation at hand.
902
00:45:57,126 --> 00:45:58,330
Come again?
903
00:45:58,399 --> 00:46:01,935
Do you understand what
subject matter
jurisdiction is?
904
00:46:02,004 --> 00:46:02,869
No.
905
00:46:02,938 --> 00:46:03,970
Yeah. I didn't think so.
906
00:46:04,039 --> 00:46:07,941
Well, due to
habeas corpus,
907
00:46:08,010 --> 00:46:11,511
you and Ms. Bonifante
had a common
law marriage,
908
00:46:11,580 --> 00:46:14,013
which heretofore
entitles her
909
00:46:14,082 --> 00:46:15,782
to what is
legally referred to
910
00:46:15,851 --> 00:46:18,454
as equitable division
of the assets.
911
00:46:20,256 --> 00:46:21,420
Come again?
912
00:46:21,489 --> 00:46:24,994
Due to the fact that you've
retained...this residence,
913
00:46:25,761 --> 00:46:27,059
Miss Bonifante is entitled
914
00:46:27,128 --> 00:46:29,861
to full canine
property ownership
915
00:46:29,930 --> 00:46:33,269
and will be
enforcing said
ownership right now.
916
00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:36,005
Huh?
917
00:46:36,605 --> 00:46:38,307
Tell him, Paulette.
918
00:46:38,741 --> 00:46:40,243
(CHUCKLES)
919
00:46:43,412 --> 00:46:45,245
I'm taking the dog,
920
00:46:45,314 --> 00:46:46,315
dumbass!
921
00:46:47,849 --> 00:46:49,883
That's awesome!
We did it!
922
00:46:49,952 --> 00:46:51,354
(BOTH LAUGHING)
923
00:46:54,357 --> 00:46:56,122
Come here.
924
00:46:56,191 --> 00:46:57,924
Oh, my gosh,
did you see him?
925
00:46:57,993 --> 00:46:59,558
He's probably still
scratching his head.
926
00:46:59,627 --> 00:47:02,562
Yeah, which must be
a nice vacation
for his balls.
927
00:47:02,631 --> 00:47:04,430
(BOTH GIGGLING)
928
00:47:04,499 --> 00:47:05,999
(DOG SQUEALS)
929
00:47:06,068 --> 00:47:07,203
Oh!
930
00:47:12,641 --> 00:47:13,943
Thank you.
931
00:47:19,882 --> 00:47:22,114
Well, according to
Swinney v. Neubert,
932
00:47:22,183 --> 00:47:24,050
Swinney, who was also
a private sperm donor,
933
00:47:24,119 --> 00:47:26,886
was allowed visitation rights
as long as he came to terms
934
00:47:26,955 --> 00:47:28,988
with the hours set forth
by the parents.
935
00:47:29,057 --> 00:47:31,057
So, if we're sticking
to past precedent,
936
00:47:31,126 --> 00:47:34,493
I mean, Mr. Latimer
wasn't stalking.
937
00:47:34,562 --> 00:47:37,864
He was clearly
within his rights
to ask for visitation.
938
00:47:37,933 --> 00:47:41,133
But Swinney was
a one-time sperm donor,
939
00:47:41,202 --> 00:47:44,303
and in our case
the defendant was
an habitual sperm donor
940
00:47:44,372 --> 00:47:47,139
who also happens to be
harassing the parents
941
00:47:47,208 --> 00:47:48,735
in his quest
for visitation.
942
00:47:48,804 --> 00:47:51,744
Well, yeah, but without
this man's sperm,
943
00:47:51,813 --> 00:47:55,114
the child in question
wouldn't exist.
944
00:47:55,183 --> 00:47:57,253
Now you're thinking
like a lawyer.
945
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:59,088
Mmm-hmm.
946
00:48:01,890 --> 00:48:04,156
Yes, Ms. Woods?
947
00:48:04,225 --> 00:48:06,960
Although Mr. Huntington
makes an excellent point,
948
00:48:07,029 --> 00:48:08,393
I have to wonder
if the defendant
949
00:48:08,462 --> 00:48:10,830
kept a thorough record
of every sperm emission
950
00:48:10,899 --> 00:48:12,698
made throughout
his life.
951
00:48:12,767 --> 00:48:14,303
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
952
00:48:15,170 --> 00:48:17,871
Interesting.
Why do you ask?
953
00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:21,140
Well, unless the defendant
attempted to contact
954
00:48:21,209 --> 00:48:22,541
every single
one-night stand
955
00:48:22,610 --> 00:48:25,410
to determine if a child
resulted in those unions,
956
00:48:25,479 --> 00:48:28,548
he has no parental claim
over this child whatsoever.
957
00:48:28,617 --> 00:48:30,353
Why now?
Why this sperm?
958
00:48:32,688 --> 00:48:33,920
I see your point.
959
00:48:33,989 --> 00:48:36,956
And for that matter,
all masturbatory emissions
960
00:48:37,025 --> 00:48:38,758
where his sperm was
clearly not seeking
an egg
961
00:48:38,827 --> 00:48:41,330
could be termed
reckless abandonment.
962
00:48:42,798 --> 00:48:45,268
I believe you've
just won your case.
963
00:48:49,804 --> 00:48:51,804
Ms. Woods,
you did well today.
964
00:48:51,873 --> 00:48:53,505
Really?
965
00:48:53,574 --> 00:48:56,542
You're applying
for my internship,
aren't you?
966
00:48:56,611 --> 00:48:57,744
I don't know.
967
00:48:57,813 --> 00:48:59,482
You should.
Do you have a resume?
968
00:49:00,516 --> 00:49:02,485
Yes, I do.
Um...
969
00:49:05,987 --> 00:49:07,323
Here it is.
970
00:49:08,924 --> 00:49:09,923
It's pink.
971
00:49:09,992 --> 00:49:11,590
Oh, and it's scented.
972
00:49:11,659 --> 00:49:15,164
I think it gives it
a little something extra,
don't you think?
973
00:49:16,497 --> 00:49:18,601
Okay, well,
see you next class.
974
00:49:19,868 --> 00:49:21,070
(SNIFFING)
975
00:49:23,071 --> 00:49:25,204
Do you think she just
woke up one morning
and said,
976
00:49:25,273 --> 00:49:27,774
"I think I'll go
to law school today"?
977
00:49:27,843 --> 00:49:29,809
Well, that lapse
in judgment aside,
978
00:49:29,878 --> 00:49:32,211
I think she's got
a lot of potential.
979
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,417
Here's the
Windham file.
980
00:49:34,783 --> 00:49:36,319
Smell this.
981
00:49:36,985 --> 00:49:38,521
(SNIFFING)
982
00:49:38,987 --> 00:49:40,086
What's that?
983
00:49:40,155 --> 00:49:41,624
It's her resume.
984
00:49:42,658 --> 00:49:44,027
Smells good.
985
00:50:08,183 --> 00:50:09,482
ELLE: What's
going on?
986
00:50:09,551 --> 00:50:12,117
Callahan's firm
is defending
a murder trial.
987
00:50:12,186 --> 00:50:13,386
His case load
is so big,
988
00:50:13,455 --> 00:50:15,855
he's taking on
first-year interns.
989
00:50:15,924 --> 00:50:17,089
He picked them
already?
990
00:50:17,158 --> 00:50:19,759
VIVIAN: My God,
I can't believe it.
Warner!
991
00:50:19,828 --> 00:50:21,730
We got it!
992
00:50:19,828 --> 00:50:21,730
Yes!
993
00:50:23,464 --> 00:50:26,030
AARON: That only
leaves one for...
994
00:50:27,001 --> 00:50:28,371
(GASPS)
995
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:32,508
Me!
996
00:50:33,576 --> 00:50:34,807
Yes!
997
00:50:34,876 --> 00:50:36,145
(SIGHS)
998
00:50:39,548 --> 00:50:40,683
Oh, Warner?
999
00:50:45,587 --> 00:50:48,287
Do you remember
when we spent those
four amazing hours
1000
00:50:48,356 --> 00:50:50,593
in the hot tub
after winter formal?
1001
00:50:50,926 --> 00:50:51,958
Yeah... No.
1002
00:50:52,027 --> 00:50:53,993
(CLEARS THROAT)
1003
00:50:54,062 --> 00:50:56,399
This is so much
better than that!
1004
00:50:57,598 --> 00:51:00,169
Excuse me. I have
some shopping to do.
1005
00:51:01,837 --> 00:51:02,838
Four hours?
1006
00:51:13,949 --> 00:51:15,782
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
1007
00:51:15,851 --> 00:51:17,586
(WARNER CLEARING THROAT)
1008
00:51:24,492 --> 00:51:26,795
You look very nice
today, Vivian.
1009
00:51:27,863 --> 00:51:29,663
Thank you.
1010
00:51:29,732 --> 00:51:31,234
You're welcome.
1011
00:51:41,509 --> 00:51:43,575
We're defending
Brooke Windham,
1012
00:51:43,644 --> 00:51:46,145
whose very wealthy husband
was found shot to death
1013
00:51:46,214 --> 00:51:47,747
in their
Beacon Hill mansion.
1014
00:51:47,816 --> 00:51:49,415
Gold digger?
1015
00:51:49,484 --> 00:51:53,019
You'd think so,
since the stiff was 60,
but she was rich on her own.
1016
00:51:53,088 --> 00:51:54,653
Some kind of
fitness empire.
1017
00:51:54,722 --> 00:51:57,289
You can buy
her exercise tapes
on infomercials.
1018
00:51:57,358 --> 00:52:00,363
Wait, are you talking
about Brooke Taylor?
1019
00:52:01,262 --> 00:52:03,166
Maiden name Taylor.
1020
00:52:04,032 --> 00:52:04,864
You know her?
1021
00:52:04,933 --> 00:52:06,598
She's a Delta Nu!
1022
00:52:06,667 --> 00:52:08,200
She wasn't in
my pledge class,
but she...
1023
00:52:08,269 --> 00:52:09,934
She graduated
four years before me.
1024
00:52:10,003 --> 00:52:12,972
But I used to take
her class at the
Los Angeles Sports Club.
1025
00:52:13,041 --> 00:52:14,974
She's amazing!
1026
00:52:15,043 --> 00:52:16,642
Amazing? How?
1027
00:52:16,711 --> 00:52:19,078
She can make you lose,
like, three pounds
in one class.
1028
00:52:19,147 --> 00:52:20,846
She's completely gifted.
1029
00:52:20,915 --> 00:52:24,250
Well, in all likelihood,
she's completely guilty
as well.
1030
00:52:24,319 --> 00:52:26,786
She was seen standing over
her husband's dead body.
1031
00:52:26,855 --> 00:52:28,321
By who?
1032
00:52:28,390 --> 00:52:31,194
His 26-year-old daughter
and the pool boy.
1033
00:52:32,026 --> 00:52:34,427
Sorry I'm late.
Excuse me.
1034
00:52:34,496 --> 00:52:36,195
This is Emmett Richmond,
another associate,
1035
00:52:36,264 --> 00:52:37,496
top three in his class,
1036
00:52:37,565 --> 00:52:40,199
and former editor
of Harvard Law Review.
1037
00:52:40,268 --> 00:52:43,470
You've probably seen him
lurking around campus
doing my research.
1038
00:52:43,539 --> 00:52:45,470
Thanks for
the introduction.
1039
00:52:45,539 --> 00:52:47,507
WARNER: So, what about
the murder weapon?
1040
00:52:45,539 --> 00:52:47,507
Hi.
1041
00:52:47,576 --> 00:52:49,077
CALLAHAN: The gun
is missing.
1042
00:52:49,242 --> 00:52:52,011
The coroner said he'd
been dead 30 minutes
when the cops arrived,
1043
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,180
giving Brooke
plenty of time
to stash it.
1044
00:52:54,249 --> 00:52:56,883
I just don't think Brooke
could have done this.
1045
00:52:56,952 --> 00:52:58,752
Exercise gives
you endorphins.
1046
00:52:58,821 --> 00:53:00,419
Endorphins
make you happy.
1047
00:53:00,488 --> 00:53:03,392
Happy people just don't
shoot their husbands.
1048
00:53:05,027 --> 00:53:06,960
They just don't.
1049
00:53:07,029 --> 00:53:08,464
I didn't do it.
1050
00:53:09,064 --> 00:53:10,396
I walked in,
1051
00:53:10,465 --> 00:53:12,798
I saw my husband
lying on the floor,
1052
00:53:12,867 --> 00:53:15,168
I bent down
to check his heart,
screamed my head off,
1053
00:53:15,237 --> 00:53:16,769
and then Enrique and
Chutney ran inside.
1054
00:53:16,838 --> 00:53:19,538
CALLAHAN: Okay,
your stepdaughter
and the pool boy came in,
1055
00:53:19,607 --> 00:53:23,312
where they saw you
standing over the body,
covered in his blood.
1056
00:53:26,114 --> 00:53:27,713
Why would I kill
my husband?
1057
00:53:27,782 --> 00:53:31,050
Insurance, a love affair,
pure unadulterated hatred.
1058
00:53:31,119 --> 00:53:34,120
Believe me, the DA
will come up with
plenty of reasons.
1059
00:53:34,189 --> 00:53:35,558
I loved him.
1060
00:53:36,692 --> 00:53:39,591
He was 34 years
older than you.
1061
00:53:39,660 --> 00:53:42,428
That doesn't look
so good to a jury.
1062
00:53:42,497 --> 00:53:45,264
Then show them
a picture of his dick.
1063
00:53:45,333 --> 00:53:47,636
That might clear
a few things up.
1064
00:53:50,138 --> 00:53:52,038
Brooke, I believe you,
1065
00:53:52,107 --> 00:53:55,408
but a jury is gonna
want an alibi.
1066
00:53:55,477 --> 00:53:57,409
Well, I can't
give you that,
1067
00:53:57,478 --> 00:54:01,080
and if you put me
on the stand, I'll lie.
1068
00:54:01,149 --> 00:54:04,050
CALLAHAN: Well, then,
I guess we're done
for today.
1069
00:54:04,119 --> 00:54:05,554
(DOOR BUZZES)
1070
00:54:06,020 --> 00:54:07,251
(SIGHS)
1071
00:54:13,195 --> 00:54:14,727
Hey.
1072
00:54:13,195 --> 00:54:14,727
Hi.
1073
00:54:14,796 --> 00:54:15,828
I know you.
1074
00:54:15,897 --> 00:54:18,767
I'm a Delta Nu,
and I'm a huge fan
of yours.
1075
00:54:19,467 --> 00:54:21,734
You took
my class in LA.
1076
00:54:19,467 --> 00:54:21,734
Uh-huh.
1077
00:54:21,803 --> 00:54:25,004
You had the
best high-kick
I've ever seen.
1078
00:54:25,073 --> 00:54:26,639
Are you one
of my lawyers?
1079
00:54:26,708 --> 00:54:28,741
Yeah, sort of.
1080
00:54:28,810 --> 00:54:31,010
Well, thank God
one of you
has a brain.
1081
00:54:31,079 --> 00:54:32,648
Let's go.
1082
00:54:36,617 --> 00:54:38,250
I'm the only one
that believes her.
1083
00:54:38,319 --> 00:54:40,153
Callahan totally
thinks she's guilty.
1084
00:54:40,222 --> 00:54:43,659
Yeah, that's 'cause
men are big fat
retards who don't...
1085
00:54:44,225 --> 00:54:45,490
Afternoon, ladies.
1086
00:54:45,559 --> 00:54:46,393
RECEPTIONIST: Hey,
how's it going?
1087
00:54:46,462 --> 00:54:48,160
(WHISPERING)
It's him.
1088
00:54:48,229 --> 00:54:49,933
Paulette Bonafonte.
1089
00:54:51,232 --> 00:54:52,764
Oh, my God.
1090
00:54:52,833 --> 00:54:54,968
(THAT'S THE WAY (I LIKE IT)
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1091
00:54:55,037 --> 00:54:56,672
He's coming over here.
1092
00:54:58,341 --> 00:55:00,206
(CLEARS THROAT)
1093
00:55:00,275 --> 00:55:01,777
I've got
a package.
1094
00:55:05,213 --> 00:55:06,715
He's got a package.
1095
00:55:19,494 --> 00:55:20,796
How you doing today?
1096
00:55:21,963 --> 00:55:22,831
Fine.
1097
00:55:29,204 --> 00:55:30,839
Take it easy.
1098
00:55:32,073 --> 00:55:33,239
UPS GUY:
See you later.
1099
00:55:33,308 --> 00:55:35,341
RECEPTIONIST:
Take it easy.
1100
00:55:35,410 --> 00:55:36,809
That's great, Paulette.
1101
00:55:36,878 --> 00:55:38,978
Is this the only
interaction you two
have ever had?
1102
00:55:39,047 --> 00:55:43,217
No. Sometimes I say
"okay" instead of "fine."
1103
00:55:43,286 --> 00:55:44,850
(GIGGLES)
1104
00:55:44,919 --> 00:55:47,386
Well, why don't
you offer him
a cold beverage
1105
00:55:47,455 --> 00:55:49,388
or a neck massage
or something?
1106
00:55:49,457 --> 00:55:51,557
Oh, come on,
what's the point?
1107
00:55:51,626 --> 00:55:53,660
Trust me, Paulette,
you have all
the equipment,
1108
00:55:53,729 --> 00:55:56,696
you just need
to read the manual.
1109
00:55:56,765 --> 00:55:58,131
Do you know
what I'm saying?
1110
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,498
Mmm-mmm.
1111
00:55:59,567 --> 00:56:00,900
Okay, I'm gonna show you
a little maneuver
1112
00:56:00,969 --> 00:56:02,968
that my mother taught me
in junior high.
1113
00:56:03,037 --> 00:56:06,039
In my experience,
it has a 98% success rate
1114
00:56:06,108 --> 00:56:07,139
of getting
a man's attention,
1115
00:56:07,208 --> 00:56:09,208
and, when
used appropriately,
1116
00:56:09,277 --> 00:56:12,779
it has an 83%
rate of return on
a dinner invitation.
1117
00:56:12,848 --> 00:56:14,313
Wow.
1118
00:56:14,382 --> 00:56:16,552
It's called
"the bend and snap."
1119
00:56:17,253 --> 00:56:18,587
Watch this.
1120
00:56:20,822 --> 00:56:22,354
(GASPS)
1121
00:56:22,423 --> 00:56:24,757
"I think I dropped
something on the floor
that I need to pick up."
1122
00:56:24,826 --> 00:56:26,095
So you bend
1123
00:56:27,195 --> 00:56:28,828
and snap!
1124
00:56:28,897 --> 00:56:30,162
See?
1125
00:56:30,231 --> 00:56:31,935
Come on.
You try it.
1126
00:56:36,038 --> 00:56:38,107
Bend and snap!
1127
00:56:39,007 --> 00:56:40,739
Okay. Um, yeah.
1128
00:56:40,808 --> 00:56:43,377
A little less bend,
a little more snap.
Okay?
1129
00:56:43,446 --> 00:56:44,977
Like this?
1130
00:56:45,046 --> 00:56:46,078
(GASPS)
1131
00:56:46,147 --> 00:56:47,113
Good snap.
1132
00:56:47,182 --> 00:56:48,648
Come on.
1133
00:56:48,717 --> 00:56:53,353
Um... You!
Come on,
you can do it.
1134
00:56:53,422 --> 00:56:55,489
Bend and snap.
1135
00:56:55,558 --> 00:56:57,493
Very, very good.
1136
00:56:58,659 --> 00:57:00,926
ELLE: We can all do it!
Come on, guys.
1137
00:57:00,995 --> 00:57:03,095
No, I can't do that.
1138
00:57:03,164 --> 00:57:05,131
You're gonna bend
1139
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,232
and snap!
1140
00:57:06,301 --> 00:57:07,166
Now put
your head into it.
1141
00:57:07,235 --> 00:57:09,838
Bend and snap!
1142
00:57:10,539 --> 00:57:14,473
Bend and snap!
Good job!
1143
00:57:14,542 --> 00:57:16,810
A little attitude,
please.
1144
00:57:16,879 --> 00:57:20,079
Now, everybody smile.
That's very important.
1145
00:57:20,148 --> 00:57:22,115
Pump. Pump, pump.
1146
00:57:22,184 --> 00:57:24,384
Bend and snap!
1147
00:57:24,453 --> 00:57:26,189
Good job, everybody!
1148
00:57:27,321 --> 00:57:29,389
Work it out.
Work it out.
1149
00:57:29,458 --> 00:57:30,994
(WOMEN CHEERING)
1150
00:57:31,294 --> 00:57:32,628
Wow!
1151
00:57:34,029 --> 00:57:35,761
Come on, Paulette!
1152
00:57:35,830 --> 00:57:36,896
(LAUGHS)
1153
00:57:36,965 --> 00:57:39,666
Bend and snap!
1154
00:57:39,735 --> 00:57:42,101
Oh, my God,
the bend and snap!
1155
00:57:42,170 --> 00:57:43,937
Works every time!
1156
00:57:44,006 --> 00:57:45,138
(BOTH BARKING)
1157
00:57:45,207 --> 00:57:48,808
Well, if Brooke
didn't kill the guy,
then who did?
1158
00:57:48,877 --> 00:57:51,277
My money is on the angry
daughter or the ex-wife.
1159
00:57:51,346 --> 00:57:52,778
Chutney has a trust fund.
1160
00:57:52,847 --> 00:57:55,247
She didn't need
the insurance payoff
or the inheritance.
1161
00:57:55,316 --> 00:57:56,448
What about the mother?
1162
00:57:56,517 --> 00:57:57,750
Covered. She was
in Aspen at the time.
1163
00:57:57,819 --> 00:57:59,352
Vivian, get me
some plum sauce.
1164
00:57:59,421 --> 00:58:03,289
Ten people saw her
downing cosmopolitans
at the Caribou Club.
1165
00:58:03,358 --> 00:58:05,457
Well, all I know is
it's not Brooke.
1166
00:58:05,526 --> 00:58:08,664
That's touching, Elle.
But we need an alibi.
1167
00:58:11,699 --> 00:58:12,698
ELLE: I brought you
some necessities.
1168
00:58:12,767 --> 00:58:15,868
Some Calvin Klein
720-count sheets,
1169
00:58:15,937 --> 00:58:18,403
the entire Clinique
skin care line,
1170
00:58:18,472 --> 00:58:21,277
some aromatherapy
candles, a loofah...
1171
00:58:21,810 --> 00:58:22,979
Oh!
1172
00:58:23,445 --> 00:58:24,981
And the bible.
1173
00:58:26,515 --> 00:58:27,883
You're an angel.
1174
00:58:28,716 --> 00:58:31,117
So how are you?
Are you all right?
1175
00:58:31,186 --> 00:58:33,786
You look
so orange.
1176
00:58:33,855 --> 00:58:34,887
(SIGHS)
1177
00:58:34,956 --> 00:58:37,924
I'm just glad
that it's you
and not Callahan.
1178
00:58:37,993 --> 00:58:40,125
He means well.
He's very brilliant.
1179
00:58:40,194 --> 00:58:43,930
Yeah, he better be
for what I'm paying
for him.
1180
00:58:43,999 --> 00:58:46,432
I have to tell you
the real reason
I came here.
1181
00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:50,169
Professor Callahan says
we really, really
need your alibi.
1182
00:58:50,238 --> 00:58:53,042
Elle, I can't.
1183
00:58:54,275 --> 00:58:55,942
I mean,
you don't understand.
1184
00:58:56,011 --> 00:58:58,281
Who could understand
better than me?
1185
00:58:59,581 --> 00:59:01,613
It's so shameful.
1186
00:59:01,682 --> 00:59:03,983
Whatever it is, Brooke,
it could save you.
1187
00:59:04,052 --> 00:59:06,889
(CRYING)
No, that's just it.
It would ruin me.
1188
00:59:07,356 --> 00:59:08,591
How?
1189
00:59:11,793 --> 00:59:14,994
I've made my fortune
on the ability to
perfect women's bodies
1190
00:59:15,063 --> 00:59:17,029
with Brooke's
Butt-Buster Workout.
1191
00:59:17,098 --> 00:59:18,998
I know!
You helped me go
from a 6 to a 4.
1192
00:59:19,067 --> 00:59:20,303
That's great!
1193
00:59:21,237 --> 00:59:22,105
Um...
1194
00:59:24,506 --> 00:59:26,875
On the day of
Heyworth's murder,
1195
00:59:31,847 --> 00:59:34,250
(WHISPERING)
I was getting
liposuction.
1196
00:59:35,251 --> 00:59:36,650
What?
1197
00:59:36,719 --> 00:59:38,687
I was getting
liposuction.
1198
00:59:39,655 --> 00:59:41,454
Huh?
1199
00:59:39,655 --> 00:59:41,454
Liposuction!
1200
00:59:41,523 --> 00:59:43,190
(GASPS)
1201
00:59:41,523 --> 00:59:43,190
Oh, God!
1202
00:59:43,259 --> 00:59:44,490
No!
1203
00:59:44,559 --> 00:59:45,992
I know! I'm a fraud!
1204
00:59:46,061 --> 00:59:49,328
It's not like
normal women
can have this ass!
1205
00:59:49,397 --> 00:59:50,563
If my fans knew
that I bought it,
1206
00:59:50,632 --> 00:59:52,701
I would lose
everything!
1207
00:59:53,101 --> 00:59:54,500
(SIGHS)
1208
00:59:54,569 --> 00:59:56,672
I've already lost
my husband.
1209
01:00:00,141 --> 01:00:03,112
I'd rather go to jail
than lose my reputation.
1210
01:00:04,112 --> 01:00:08,017
Brooke, your secret's
safe with me.
1211
01:00:11,387 --> 01:00:12,888
Thank you.
1212
01:00:15,323 --> 01:00:17,523
Vivian, grab me
some coffee.
1213
01:00:17,592 --> 01:00:18,691
We got two interviews
tomorrow
1214
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,693
that Gerard and Bobby
are gonna handle.
1215
01:00:20,762 --> 01:00:22,061
The ex-wife in an hour.
1216
01:00:22,130 --> 01:00:24,763
And according
to this communique
from the prison,
1217
01:00:24,832 --> 01:00:28,004
our client apparently
had a visit from
her sister,
1218
01:00:28,437 --> 01:00:30,773
a Miss Delta Nu.
1219
01:00:32,708 --> 01:00:34,707
Anyone you know?
1220
01:00:34,776 --> 01:00:37,076
Yes.
I went to visit her.
1221
01:00:37,145 --> 01:00:38,678
What the hell do you mean
you went to "visit" her?
1222
01:00:38,747 --> 01:00:40,280
I went to get her alibi.
1223
01:00:40,349 --> 01:00:41,548
Did you get it?
1224
01:00:41,617 --> 01:00:43,849
Mmm-hmm.
It's really good.
1225
01:00:43,918 --> 01:00:46,520
Well, great.
What is it?
1226
01:00:46,589 --> 01:00:48,157
Oh, I can't tell you.
1227
01:00:49,157 --> 01:00:50,155
Why the hell not?
1228
01:00:50,224 --> 01:00:52,225
Because I promised her
I'd keep it a secret,
1229
01:00:52,294 --> 01:00:54,461
and I can't break
the bonds of
sisterhood.
1230
01:00:54,530 --> 01:00:55,994
Screw sisterhood!
1231
01:00:56,063 --> 01:00:58,765
This is a murder trial,
not some scandal
at the sorority house.
1232
01:00:58,834 --> 01:01:00,800
I want the alibi.
1233
01:01:00,869 --> 01:01:02,567
I can't give it to you,
1234
01:01:02,636 --> 01:01:06,004
but I can tell you
she is innocent.
1235
01:01:06,073 --> 01:01:09,141
Mr. Callahan,
Mrs. Windham Vandermark
is on line 2 for you.
1236
01:01:09,210 --> 01:01:12,945
Someone reason with her
while I take this.
1237
01:01:13,014 --> 01:01:16,543
(STAMMERING)
Are you crazy?
Just tell him the alibi.
1238
01:01:16,612 --> 01:01:18,751
No.
1239
01:01:16,612 --> 01:01:18,751
We're gonna lose
this case if you don't.
1240
01:01:18,820 --> 01:01:20,486
Well, then we're not
very good lawyers.
1241
01:01:20,555 --> 01:01:24,023
If you tell him,
he'll probably hire you
as a summer associate.
1242
01:01:24,092 --> 01:01:26,996
Who cares about Brooke?
Think about yourself.
1243
01:01:28,964 --> 01:01:31,063
I gave her my word,
Warner.
1244
01:01:31,132 --> 01:01:32,135
So what?
1245
01:01:36,571 --> 01:01:38,204
The ex-wife seems
to be unconcerned
1246
01:01:38,273 --> 01:01:40,139
with the fact
that her interview
is today.
1247
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:42,075
She's at a spa
in the Berkshires.
1248
01:01:42,144 --> 01:01:45,445
A spa? Isn't that
kind of like
your mother ship?
1249
01:01:45,514 --> 01:01:46,546
(LAUGHS)
1250
01:01:46,615 --> 01:01:47,647
I could go
if you want me to.
1251
01:01:47,716 --> 01:01:49,152
CALLAHAN: Emmett?
1252
01:01:47,716 --> 01:01:49,152
Yeah?
1253
01:01:49,585 --> 01:01:50,583
Go with her.
1254
01:01:50,652 --> 01:01:51,854
Okay.
1255
01:02:02,297 --> 01:02:05,031
She seems completely
untrustworthy to me.
1256
01:02:05,100 --> 01:02:06,331
Why?
1257
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:08,567
I mean, this is a person
who's made her living
1258
01:02:08,636 --> 01:02:10,803
by telling women
that they're too fat.
1259
01:02:10,872 --> 01:02:13,106
Brooke would never tell
a woman she was too fat.
1260
01:02:13,175 --> 01:02:16,742
And she seems to me
like she's hiding
something.
1261
01:02:16,811 --> 01:02:17,977
But maybe it's not
what you think.
1262
01:02:18,046 --> 01:02:20,346
Maybe it's exactly
what I think.
1263
01:02:20,415 --> 01:02:21,680
(SIGHS)
1264
01:02:21,749 --> 01:02:24,250
You know, you're
really being
a butt-head.
1265
01:02:24,319 --> 01:02:25,485
A "butt-head"?
1266
01:02:25,554 --> 01:02:27,251
Why would you
call me that?
1267
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,456
You know, Emmett, you
just need to have a little
more faith in people.
1268
01:02:29,525 --> 01:02:31,294
You might be surprised.
1269
01:02:33,394 --> 01:02:35,160
I can't believe you just
called me a "butt-head."
1270
01:02:35,229 --> 01:02:37,463
I mean, no one's
called me a "butt-head"
since about the ninth grade.
1271
01:02:37,532 --> 01:02:38,765
(LAUGHS)
1272
01:02:38,834 --> 01:02:41,535
Maybe not to your face.
1273
01:02:41,604 --> 01:02:43,202
(CHUCKLES)
1274
01:02:43,271 --> 01:02:45,905
EMMETT: So this is
what a spa looks like.
Wow.
1275
01:02:45,974 --> 01:02:47,106
How do we find her?
1276
01:02:47,175 --> 01:02:48,775
ELLE: I called ahead.
She's in the mud room.
1277
01:02:48,844 --> 01:02:51,180
She's not, uh,
naked, is she?
1278
01:02:54,415 --> 01:02:56,152
Mrs. Windham Vandermark?
1279
01:02:58,621 --> 01:03:00,953
So you found me.
1280
01:03:01,022 --> 01:03:04,256
Yes. Um, we're from
Austen, Platt,
Jaret, and Callahan,
1281
01:03:04,325 --> 01:03:07,426
and we're here
to ask you
a few questions.
1282
01:03:07,495 --> 01:03:12,096
So I hear that that
little tart from California
shot poor Heyworth.
1283
01:03:12,165 --> 01:03:14,867
Well, that's what
we're trying to prove
didn't happen, actually.
1284
01:03:14,936 --> 01:03:17,036
Do you have any reason
to believe that it did?
1285
01:03:17,105 --> 01:03:19,805
Well, I've never
actually met the woman,
1286
01:03:19,874 --> 01:03:23,770
but my daughter tells
me she can be
quite the little bitch.
1287
01:03:23,839 --> 01:03:26,179
Now, did your daughter ever
mention anything to you
1288
01:03:26,248 --> 01:03:29,776
about the relationship
between Brooke and Heyworth?
1289
01:03:29,845 --> 01:03:32,989
Well, she did say that
they humped like gorillas.
1290
01:03:34,422 --> 01:03:37,757
I guess it wasn't enough,
though, for Brooke.
1291
01:03:37,826 --> 01:03:39,625
Uh, why do you
say that?
1292
01:03:39,694 --> 01:03:41,561
(CHUCKLES) Well...
1293
01:03:41,630 --> 01:03:43,899
Haven't you seen
the cabana boy?
1294
01:03:45,634 --> 01:03:47,066
She's lying.
1295
01:03:47,135 --> 01:03:49,068
And you know this
for a fact?
1296
01:03:49,137 --> 01:03:51,270
Did you see the icky
brown color of her hair?
1297
01:03:51,339 --> 01:03:54,473
So? Now you discriminate
against brunettes?
1298
01:03:54,542 --> 01:03:56,842
ELLE: Why shouldn't I?
I'm discriminated
against as a blonde.
1299
01:03:56,911 --> 01:03:59,478
EMMETT: You know,
being a blonde is actually
a pretty powerful thing.
1300
01:03:59,547 --> 01:04:01,347
You hold more cards
than you think you do.
1301
01:04:01,416 --> 01:04:04,516
And I personally would
like to see you
take that power
1302
01:04:04,585 --> 01:04:08,621
and channel it towards
the greater good,
you know?
1303
01:04:08,690 --> 01:04:10,590
Thanks.
I'll see you tomorrow.
1304
01:04:10,659 --> 01:04:12,161
All right.
1305
01:04:12,594 --> 01:04:14,626
Hey.
1306
01:04:12,594 --> 01:04:14,626
Yeah?
1307
01:04:14,695 --> 01:04:16,896
How do you think
I'd look as a blonde,
you know?
1308
01:04:16,965 --> 01:04:19,335
Hmm. I'm not sure
you could handle it.
1309
01:04:20,436 --> 01:04:21,938
Good night.
1310
01:04:20,436 --> 01:04:21,938
Bye.
1311
01:04:31,379 --> 01:04:32,912
DAVID: So I called
your room last night.
1312
01:04:32,981 --> 01:04:34,313
GIRL: I heard.
1313
01:04:34,382 --> 01:04:36,416
DAVID: I was thinking
maybe we could
go out sometime.
1314
01:04:36,485 --> 01:04:38,685
No.
You're a dork.
1315
01:04:38,754 --> 01:04:41,287
(LAUGHING)
1316
01:04:38,754 --> 01:04:41,287
I'm in law school.
1317
01:04:41,356 --> 01:04:43,256
Look, I'm not gonna
go out with you.
1318
01:04:43,325 --> 01:04:45,457
I can't believe
you'd even ask.
1319
01:04:45,526 --> 01:04:48,961
Girls like me
don't go out with
losers like you.
1320
01:04:49,030 --> 01:04:50,764
Let's get out
of here.
1321
01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,335
Excuse me.
1322
01:04:55,971 --> 01:04:57,604
Why didn't you call me?
1323
01:04:57,673 --> 01:04:58,738
What?
1324
01:04:58,807 --> 01:05:00,039
We spent a beautiful
night together,
1325
01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:02,409
and then I never hear
from you again?
1326
01:05:02,478 --> 01:05:03,312
I...
1327
01:05:06,249 --> 01:05:07,313
I'm sorry?
1328
01:05:07,382 --> 01:05:09,048
Sorry for what?
For breaking my heart,
1329
01:05:09,117 --> 01:05:11,551
or for giving me
the greatest pleasure
I've ever known
1330
01:05:11,620 --> 01:05:14,654
and then
just taking it away?
1331
01:05:14,723 --> 01:05:17,757
Uh, both?
1332
01:05:17,826 --> 01:05:19,124
Well, forget it.
1333
01:05:19,193 --> 01:05:22,198
I've already spent
too many hours
crying over you.
1334
01:05:25,701 --> 01:05:28,835
So when did you
want to go out?
1335
01:05:28,904 --> 01:05:30,239
Uh...
1336
01:05:34,009 --> 01:05:35,241
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1337
01:05:35,310 --> 01:05:36,312
Come in.
1338
01:05:41,349 --> 01:05:43,550
Are you done with
that deposition yet?
1339
01:05:43,619 --> 01:05:45,885
Oh, yeah.
Here, take it.
1340
01:05:45,954 --> 01:05:48,057
I've read it
like 20 times.
1341
01:05:49,186 --> 01:05:50,326
Okay.
1342
01:05:57,566 --> 01:05:59,698
You know, Elle,
1343
01:05:59,767 --> 01:06:03,406
I still can't believe
you didn't tell
Callahan the alibi.
1344
01:06:04,707 --> 01:06:06,475
It's not my alibi
to tell.
1345
01:06:06,775 --> 01:06:08,441
I know.
1346
01:06:08,510 --> 01:06:12,315
And I thought
that was very
classy of you.
1347
01:06:14,516 --> 01:06:15,484
Really?
1348
01:06:15,951 --> 01:06:17,220
Sure.
1349
01:06:18,753 --> 01:06:19,722
Thanks.
1350
01:06:27,828 --> 01:06:32,064
Did you ever notice how
Callahan never asks Warner
to bring him his coffee?
1351
01:06:32,133 --> 01:06:36,135
I mean, he's asked me
at least 10 times.
1352
01:06:36,204 --> 01:06:39,371
Well, men are helpless.
You know that.
1353
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:41,407
I know. Warner doesn't
even do his own laundry.
1354
01:06:41,476 --> 01:06:43,576
I know.
He has to have
it sent out.
1355
01:06:43,645 --> 01:06:44,878
I know.
1356
01:06:44,947 --> 01:06:45,714
(GIGGLES)
1357
01:06:48,049 --> 01:06:49,949
Did you know when
he first applied,
1358
01:06:50,018 --> 01:06:51,720
he got wait-listed?
1359
01:06:52,821 --> 01:06:53,689
What?
1360
01:06:55,356 --> 01:06:57,526
His father
had to make a call.
1361
01:06:58,026 --> 01:06:59,359
You're kidding.
1362
01:06:59,428 --> 01:07:00,427
Mmm-mmm.
1363
01:07:00,496 --> 01:07:01,561
(BOTH LAUGH)
1364
01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:02,598
No way!
1365
01:07:03,932 --> 01:07:05,301
(SIGHS)
1366
01:07:07,401 --> 01:07:11,070
Oh. God, that is such
a precious dog. Hi.
1367
01:07:11,139 --> 01:07:12,839
His name is Bruiser.
Do you want to hold him?
1368
01:07:12,908 --> 01:07:13,939
Oh...
1369
01:07:14,008 --> 01:07:15,008
He's very friendly.
1370
01:07:15,077 --> 01:07:16,679
Sure. Oh.
1371
01:07:17,646 --> 01:07:18,581
Aw!
1372
01:07:19,481 --> 01:07:20,546
(LAUGHS)
1373
01:07:20,615 --> 01:07:22,882
Look, he likes you.
1374
01:07:22,951 --> 01:07:24,451
Oh, he's
giving me kisses.
1375
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:25,554
(GIGGLES)
1376
01:07:27,355 --> 01:07:28,787
REPORTER: Thanks, Jeff.
1377
01:07:28,856 --> 01:07:31,790
We're here today covering
the trial of Brooke Windham.
1378
01:07:31,859 --> 01:07:34,460
Now, you may remember,
she's charged with
the murder of her husband,
1379
01:07:34,529 --> 01:07:36,795
Boston millionaire
Heyworth Windham.
1380
01:07:36,864 --> 01:07:40,565
First to testify are
the victim's daughter
and ex-wife.
1381
01:07:40,634 --> 01:07:42,997
BAILIFF: The Superior Court
of Suffolk County
is now in session.
1382
01:07:43,066 --> 01:07:45,472
The Honorable Judge
Marina R. Bickford
presiding.
1383
01:07:45,541 --> 01:07:47,176
You may be seated.
1384
01:07:55,679 --> 01:07:58,017
And where was she
exactly?
1385
01:07:58,086 --> 01:08:00,556
Standing over
my father's dead body.
1386
01:08:02,090 --> 01:08:05,057
And what was
the defendant doing?
1387
01:08:05,126 --> 01:08:08,360
Well, she was sitting
next to the pool, topless,
1388
01:08:08,429 --> 01:08:10,833
while the Latin boy
handed her a drink.
1389
01:08:13,368 --> 01:08:16,472
Mr. Salvatore,
can you tell us
what this is?
1390
01:08:18,540 --> 01:08:19,675
My uniform.
1391
01:08:20,909 --> 01:08:23,142
This is the uniform
1392
01:08:23,211 --> 01:08:25,044
that Mrs. Windham
asked you to wear
1393
01:08:25,113 --> 01:08:27,250
while cleaning her pool?
1394
01:08:30,052 --> 01:08:31,287
Yes.
1395
01:08:32,286 --> 01:08:33,386
And are you
or are you not
1396
01:08:33,455 --> 01:08:35,758
having an affair
with Brooke Windham?
1397
01:08:39,094 --> 01:08:40,426
Define "affair."
1398
01:08:40,495 --> 01:08:44,333
Have you and Mrs. Windham
had sexual relations?
1399
01:08:45,529 --> 01:08:48,204
Yes. Okay? Yes.
1400
01:08:53,108 --> 01:08:55,474
Ladies and gentlemen,
court will reconvene
1401
01:08:55,543 --> 01:08:57,780
tomorrow morning
at 9:00 a.m.
1402
01:08:58,280 --> 01:08:59,848
We're adjourned.
1403
01:09:00,749 --> 01:09:03,015
(GAVEL BANGS)
1404
01:09:03,084 --> 01:09:05,684
You know a Delta Nu would
never sleep with a man
who wears a thong.
1405
01:09:05,753 --> 01:09:09,055
Never!
1406
01:09:05,753 --> 01:09:09,055
I just liked watching
him clean the filter.
1407
01:09:09,124 --> 01:09:11,256
I know.
I believe you, Brooke.
1408
01:09:11,325 --> 01:09:13,496
Take care of me, Elle.
1409
01:09:11,325 --> 01:09:13,496
I will.
1410
01:09:19,034 --> 01:09:20,499
(HUMMING)
1411
01:09:20,568 --> 01:09:22,705
(YOU SEXY THING
PLAYING ON STEREO)
1412
01:09:33,482 --> 01:09:35,618
I got a big one for you.
1413
01:09:42,223 --> 01:09:43,659
Can you sign?
1414
01:09:44,092 --> 01:09:45,628
Mmm-hmm.
1415
01:09:46,562 --> 01:09:47,596
Oh.
1416
01:10:20,128 --> 01:10:21,422
I got it.
1417
01:10:21,491 --> 01:10:22,698
(GROANS)
1418
01:10:26,134 --> 01:10:27,400
You broke his nose?
1419
01:10:27,469 --> 01:10:28,768
PAULETTE:
Oh, I blew it, Elle.
1420
01:10:28,837 --> 01:10:31,170
My snap was
all over the place.
1421
01:10:31,239 --> 01:10:32,867
I'll be there right as soon
as court is out.
1422
01:10:32,936 --> 01:10:34,539
We have to
cross-examine Enrique.
1423
01:10:34,608 --> 01:10:35,875
But don't worry.
My girlfriend Serena
1424
01:10:35,944 --> 01:10:37,642
once barfed on a guy during
The Blair Witch Project
1425
01:10:37,711 --> 01:10:39,645
and they ended up
dating for three months.
1426
01:10:39,714 --> 01:10:41,248
PAULETTE: Really?
All right. Bye-bye.
1427
01:10:39,714 --> 01:10:41,248
Mmm-hmm.
1428
01:10:41,317 --> 01:10:42,718
Okay. Bye.
1429
01:10:45,187 --> 01:10:46,622
(TAPPING)
1430
01:10:54,529 --> 01:10:57,666
Don't stomp your little
last-season Prada shoes
at me, honey.
1431
01:11:00,001 --> 01:11:01,462
These aren't
last season.
1432
01:11:01,531 --> 01:11:02,705
(GASPS)
1433
01:11:07,942 --> 01:11:09,609
Emmett!
1434
01:11:09,678 --> 01:11:11,911
He's gay!
Enrique is gay!
1435
01:11:11,980 --> 01:11:13,178
What?
1436
01:11:13,247 --> 01:11:15,014
Warner, what kind
of shoes are these?
1437
01:11:15,083 --> 01:11:17,584
Uh, black ones.
1438
01:11:17,653 --> 01:11:19,751
See!
1439
01:11:17,653 --> 01:11:19,751
What are you
talking about?
1440
01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:22,654
He's gay. He isn't
Brooke's lover.
He's making it up.
1441
01:11:22,723 --> 01:11:25,357
Wait. Back up. How do you
know that he's gay?
1442
01:11:25,426 --> 01:11:28,561
Gay men know designers.
Straight men don't.
1443
01:11:28,630 --> 01:11:31,667
Know what?
He did leave a Cher tape
in the pool house one time.
1444
01:11:33,668 --> 01:11:36,102
While I appreciate
your masterful legal theory,
1445
01:11:36,171 --> 01:11:37,806
I have a murder trial
to attend to.
1446
01:11:39,808 --> 01:11:40,910
Emmett.
1447
01:11:39,808 --> 01:11:40,910
Okay.
1448
01:11:43,544 --> 01:11:45,612
I'll take care of it.
Thanks.
1449
01:11:45,681 --> 01:11:46,645
Okay.
1450
01:11:46,714 --> 01:11:48,784
BAILIFF: The court will
come to order.
1451
01:11:54,989 --> 01:11:56,616
Mr. Salvatore,
1452
01:11:56,685 --> 01:12:01,397
do you have any proof
that you and Mrs. Windham
were having an affair?
1453
01:12:02,197 --> 01:12:04,663
Only the love in my heart.
1454
01:12:04,732 --> 01:12:08,234
Well, if that's all
the proof that he
has, Your Honor,
1455
01:12:08,303 --> 01:12:10,403
I think I'm done here.
1456
01:12:10,472 --> 01:12:11,704
JUDGE: You may step down.
1457
01:12:11,773 --> 01:12:13,476
I'd like to ask a couple
of questions, Your Honor.
1458
01:12:14,743 --> 01:12:16,913
Just give me
a couple minutes.
1459
01:12:19,380 --> 01:12:21,781
Did you ever take
Mrs. Windham
on a date?
1460
01:12:21,850 --> 01:12:23,849
Yes.
1461
01:12:21,850 --> 01:12:23,849
Where?
1462
01:12:23,918 --> 01:12:26,419
A restaurant in Concord
where no one could
recognize us.
1463
01:12:26,488 --> 01:12:28,454
How long have you been
sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
1464
01:12:28,523 --> 01:12:30,155
Three months.
1465
01:12:28,523 --> 01:12:30,155
And your
boyfriend's name is...
1466
01:12:30,224 --> 01:12:31,257
Chuck.
1467
01:12:30,224 --> 01:12:31,257
Right.
1468
01:12:31,326 --> 01:12:33,357
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
1469
01:12:34,329 --> 01:12:35,398
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
1470
01:12:36,797 --> 01:12:39,264
Silence! Silence!
1471
01:12:36,797 --> 01:12:39,264
(STAMMERING) Pardon me.
Pardon me.
1472
01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:42,234
Yes, Mr. Salvatore?
1473
01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:42,234
I was confused.
1474
01:12:42,303 --> 01:12:43,535
Oh.
1475
01:12:42,303 --> 01:12:43,535
You see, I thought
you said friend.
1476
01:12:43,604 --> 01:12:45,408
Chuck is just a friend.
1477
01:12:43,604 --> 01:12:45,408
Oh, Okay.
1478
01:12:46,275 --> 01:12:47,741
You bitch!
1479
01:12:47,810 --> 01:12:49,041
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1480
01:12:49,110 --> 01:12:50,676
Chuck, wait!
1481
01:12:50,745 --> 01:12:53,649
Silence in my court!
Sit down, Mr. Salvatore.
1482
01:12:56,518 --> 01:12:58,284
Silence in my courtroom!
1483
01:12:58,353 --> 01:12:59,252
(BANGS GAVEL)
1484
01:12:59,321 --> 01:13:01,790
ENID: How did I miss that?
1485
01:13:02,758 --> 01:13:04,760
JUDGE:
Silence in my courtroom!
1486
01:13:05,494 --> 01:13:07,063
(SOFTLY) Thanks.
1487
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,836
Good night.
1488
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,836
Good night.
1489
01:13:17,105 --> 01:13:20,339
Oh, Elle, Callahan asked
to see you before you leave.
1490
01:13:20,408 --> 01:13:22,508
Really?
1491
01:13:20,408 --> 01:13:22,508
Yeah. He already
has his coffee,
1492
01:13:22,577 --> 01:13:23,610
but maybe
he needs a doughnut.
1493
01:13:23,679 --> 01:13:25,778
Okay. Do you need
any help?
1494
01:13:25,847 --> 01:13:26,880
No. I'm fine.
1495
01:13:26,949 --> 01:13:27,951
Okay. Bye.
1496
01:13:33,322 --> 01:13:34,857
Come on in.
1497
01:13:36,559 --> 01:13:38,561
Hi. Sit down.
1498
01:13:36,559 --> 01:13:38,561
Hi.
1499
01:13:38,827 --> 01:13:39,862
Okay.
1500
01:13:48,169 --> 01:13:49,769
Is everything
all right?
1501
01:13:49,838 --> 01:13:51,607
You followed
your intuition today,
1502
01:13:52,440 --> 01:13:54,177
and you were
right on target.
1503
01:13:56,411 --> 01:13:57,513
I should have listened.
1504
01:13:58,314 --> 01:13:59,515
Thank you.
1505
01:14:01,249 --> 01:14:02,781
About the alibi...
1506
01:14:02,850 --> 01:14:05,317
I'm sorry...
1507
01:14:02,850 --> 01:14:05,317
I'm impressed that you
took the initiative
1508
01:14:05,386 --> 01:14:06,686
to go there and get it.
1509
01:14:06,755 --> 01:14:09,422
That's what makes
a good lawyer.
1510
01:14:09,491 --> 01:14:11,690
And on top of that,
you gained
the client's trust
1511
01:14:11,759 --> 01:14:13,896
and kept it.
That's what makes
a great lawyer.
1512
01:14:15,296 --> 01:14:17,696
You're smart, Elle.
1513
01:14:17,765 --> 01:14:19,868
Smarter than most of
the guys on my payroll.
1514
01:14:20,336 --> 01:14:21,570
Wow.
1515
01:14:22,838 --> 01:14:25,599
I think it's time to
discuss your career path.
1516
01:14:25,668 --> 01:14:29,245
Have you thought about
where you might be
a summer associate?
1517
01:14:30,144 --> 01:14:31,847
Oh, um, not really.
1518
01:14:32,747 --> 01:14:34,013
I know it's
very competitive.
1519
01:14:34,082 --> 01:14:37,253
You know what competition's
really about, don't you?
1520
01:14:39,221 --> 01:14:43,156
It's about
ferocity, carnage.
1521
01:14:43,225 --> 01:14:47,663
Balancing human intelligence
with animal diligence.
1522
01:14:48,863 --> 01:14:52,566
Knowing exactly
what you want
1523
01:14:52,635 --> 01:14:54,637
and how far
you'll go to get it.
1524
01:14:56,104 --> 01:14:58,707
How far will Elle go?
1525
01:15:02,778 --> 01:15:04,544
Are you hitting on me?
1526
01:15:04,613 --> 01:15:06,279
You're a beautiful girl.
1527
01:15:06,348 --> 01:15:07,580
(SCOFFS)
1528
01:15:07,649 --> 01:15:09,415
So everything
you just said...
1529
01:15:09,484 --> 01:15:10,920
I'm a man who knows
what he wants.
1530
01:15:12,553 --> 01:15:13,919
And I'm a law student
who just realized
1531
01:15:13,988 --> 01:15:16,292
her professor is
a pathetic asshole.
1532
01:15:17,792 --> 01:15:19,559
Too bad. I thought
you were a law student
1533
01:15:19,628 --> 01:15:21,797
who wanted
to be a lawyer!
1534
01:15:29,472 --> 01:15:30,806
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
1535
01:15:38,647 --> 01:15:40,183
You almost
had me fooled.
1536
01:15:41,283 --> 01:15:42,548
What?
1537
01:15:42,617 --> 01:15:44,416
Maybe you should sleep
with the jury, too.
1538
01:15:44,485 --> 01:15:46,022
Then we can win
the case.
1539
01:15:46,521 --> 01:15:47,924
(SCOFFS)
1540
01:16:02,004 --> 01:16:03,035
Hey.
1541
01:16:03,104 --> 01:16:04,699
I'm quitting.
1542
01:16:04,768 --> 01:16:06,072
Why?
1543
01:16:06,141 --> 01:16:08,674
Law school was a mistake.
This whole internship
was a mistake.
1544
01:16:08,743 --> 01:16:10,677
What are you talking about?
You earned it.
1545
01:16:10,746 --> 01:16:13,307
I didn't earn
anything, Emmett.
1546
01:16:13,376 --> 01:16:14,747
Callahan only gave me
that internship
1547
01:16:14,816 --> 01:16:16,649
because he liked
the way I looked.
1548
01:16:16,718 --> 01:16:18,787
Which he made clear tonight
when he tried to feel me up.
1549
01:16:20,689 --> 01:16:22,725
Callahan did what?
1550
01:16:23,258 --> 01:16:24,690
(SIGHS)
1551
01:16:24,759 --> 01:16:27,059
Just forget about it.
I'm going back to LA.
1552
01:16:27,128 --> 01:16:28,795
No more boring suits.
No more pantyhose.
1553
01:16:28,864 --> 01:16:31,000
No more trying to be
something that I'm just...
1554
01:16:32,266 --> 01:16:33,169
I'm just not.
1555
01:16:34,869 --> 01:16:38,337
What if you're trying
to be somebody you are?
1556
01:16:38,406 --> 01:16:40,604
I mean, the hell
with Callahan.
1557
01:16:42,378 --> 01:16:43,346
Stay.
1558
01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:50,019
Call me if you're ever
in California, okay?
1559
01:17:06,234 --> 01:17:09,035
(SNIFFLES) What's
the point in
staying, Paulette?
1560
01:17:09,104 --> 01:17:12,005
I mean, all people see
when they look at me
1561
01:17:12,074 --> 01:17:14,874
is blond hair
and big boobs.
1562
01:17:14,943 --> 01:17:17,076
No one's ever gonna
take me seriously.
1563
01:17:17,145 --> 01:17:18,578
The people
at law school don't
1564
01:17:18,647 --> 01:17:20,879
and Warner doesn't.
1565
01:17:20,948 --> 01:17:23,987
I don't even think
my own parents
take me seriously.
1566
01:17:26,888 --> 01:17:29,555
I just felt, like,
for the first time
1567
01:17:29,624 --> 01:17:31,794
that someone
expected me to...
1568
01:17:32,994 --> 01:17:34,193
To do something
more with my life
1569
01:17:34,262 --> 01:17:36,463
than just become
a Victoria's Secret model.
1570
01:17:36,532 --> 01:17:37,733
(SNIFFLES)
1571
01:17:40,002 --> 01:17:41,104
But I was just
kidding myself.
1572
01:17:42,237 --> 01:17:43,769
Callahan never saw
me as a lawyer,
1573
01:17:43,838 --> 01:17:46,272
he just saw me
as a piece of ass.
1574
01:17:46,341 --> 01:17:48,077
Just like
everybody else.
1575
01:17:50,746 --> 01:17:52,381
Turns out I am a joke.
1576
01:17:53,882 --> 01:17:56,185
(SNIFFLES)
No, you're not a joke.
1577
01:18:01,951 --> 01:18:02,959
(SIGHS)
1578
01:18:04,458 --> 01:18:06,491
The hell
with law school.
1579
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:09,895
I just wanted
to say good-bye.
1580
01:18:09,964 --> 01:18:13,802
If you're going to
let one stupid prick
ruin your life,
1581
01:18:20,108 --> 01:18:22,912
you're not the girl
I thought you were.
1582
01:18:34,856 --> 01:18:36,292
(DOOR CLOSES)
1583
01:18:39,961 --> 01:18:41,227
REPORTER: Did you
go in there knowing
1584
01:18:41,296 --> 01:18:43,061
how you were going to
discredit Mr. Salvatore?
1585
01:18:43,130 --> 01:18:47,900
Oh, absolutely.
It's a little thing
I like to call strategy.
1586
01:18:47,969 --> 01:18:50,836
You know, I had a feeling
about Mr. Salvatore...
1587
01:18:50,905 --> 01:18:53,072
Is he always
such an ass?
1588
01:18:53,141 --> 01:18:54,941
He's the top defense
attorney in the state.
1589
01:18:55,010 --> 01:18:56,241
Of course he's an ass.
1590
01:18:56,310 --> 01:18:58,281
Fine. But is he an ass
that's gonna win my case?
1591
01:18:59,681 --> 01:19:01,914
Well, he's an ass
that's gonna try.
1592
01:19:01,983 --> 01:19:03,749
He thinks I'm guilty,
doesn't he?
1593
01:19:03,818 --> 01:19:05,050
That's not what's
important to him.
1594
01:19:05,119 --> 01:19:07,819
If he doesn't trust me,
why should I trust him?
1595
01:19:07,888 --> 01:19:10,623
Ask Elle.
She looked pretty cozy
with him last night.
1596
01:19:10,692 --> 01:19:14,063
You know, you don't
even know what the hell
you're talking about.
1597
01:19:15,831 --> 01:19:17,233
What's going on here?
1598
01:19:18,567 --> 01:19:19,665
Elle quit.
1599
01:19:19,734 --> 01:19:21,066
What?
1600
01:19:19,734 --> 01:19:21,066
Yeah.
1601
01:19:21,135 --> 01:19:23,172
Callahan hit on her,
so she quit.
1602
01:19:23,705 --> 01:19:25,241
Oh, my God.
1603
01:19:26,441 --> 01:19:27,574
Scumbag.
1604
01:19:27,643 --> 01:19:30,013
Oh, God.
1605
01:19:27,643 --> 01:19:30,013
What?
1606
01:19:31,312 --> 01:19:35,084
I feel terrible.
I made a huge mistake.
1607
01:19:41,456 --> 01:19:44,928
Well, maybe
there's something
we can do about it.
1608
01:19:48,631 --> 01:19:50,299
Thank you.
1609
01:19:55,137 --> 01:19:58,037
What are you so happy about?
You're on trial for murder.
1610
01:19:58,106 --> 01:19:59,275
Get up.
1611
01:20:00,809 --> 01:20:02,942
What?
1612
01:20:00,809 --> 01:20:02,942
You're fired.
1613
01:20:03,011 --> 01:20:04,547
I have new
representation.
1614
01:20:06,215 --> 01:20:07,250
Who?
1615
01:20:29,938 --> 01:20:31,470
Excuse you,
you're in my way.
1616
01:20:31,539 --> 01:20:33,706
She's a law student.
She can't defend you.
1617
01:20:33,775 --> 01:20:34,974
(CLEARING THROAT)
1618
01:20:35,043 --> 01:20:39,015
Massachusetts Supreme Judicial
Court ruling 3.03.
1619
01:20:39,648 --> 01:20:40,883
See?
1620
01:20:41,483 --> 01:20:42,314
Thank you, David.
1621
01:20:42,383 --> 01:20:44,587
Counselors,
approach the bench.
1622
01:20:46,021 --> 01:20:47,420
You're not
going up there.
1623
01:20:47,489 --> 01:20:48,582
Oh, yes, I am.
1624
01:20:48,651 --> 01:20:49,889
I'm sorry. Maybe you
didn't hear me.
1625
01:20:49,958 --> 01:20:51,757
You're fired.
1626
01:20:51,826 --> 01:20:55,131
Counselors, now.
All of you.
1627
01:20:59,901 --> 01:21:01,034
Elle Woods, Your Honor.
1628
01:21:01,103 --> 01:21:04,070
Rule 3.03 of
Supreme Judicial Court
1629
01:21:04,139 --> 01:21:06,105
states that a law student
may appear on behalf
1630
01:21:06,174 --> 01:21:08,074
of a defendant in
criminal proceedings.
1631
01:21:08,143 --> 01:21:10,142
Your Honor, I have
no problem with this.
1632
01:21:10,211 --> 01:21:11,410
I do.
I'm not allowing it.
1633
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:14,247
But you agreed last night.
In your office,
1634
01:21:14,316 --> 01:21:16,185
when we were
discussing my career?
1635
01:21:17,420 --> 01:21:19,085
The ruling also states
1636
01:21:19,154 --> 01:21:22,258
that you need a licensed
attorney to supervise you.
1637
01:21:22,791 --> 01:21:23,757
Mr. Callahan?
1638
01:21:23,826 --> 01:21:25,925
That I won't agree to.
1639
01:21:25,994 --> 01:21:27,997
I'll supervise,
Your Honor.
1640
01:21:29,064 --> 01:21:31,434
Well, then, Ms. Woods,
proceed.
1641
01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:33,897
Thank you,
Your Honor.
1642
01:21:34,737 --> 01:21:36,039
(CHUCKLES)
1643
01:21:39,375 --> 01:21:40,376
Hi.
1644
01:21:40,743 --> 01:21:41,945
Hi.
1645
01:21:47,816 --> 01:21:49,452
Enjoy prison.
1646
01:21:50,518 --> 01:21:54,190
Mrs. Windham,
you do realize
what you're doing?
1647
01:21:54,690 --> 01:21:56,025
Absolutely.
1648
01:21:58,860 --> 01:22:00,627
Oh, my God!
There she is! Elle!
1649
01:22:00,696 --> 01:22:03,462
Elle, we came to
see your trial!
1650
01:22:03,531 --> 01:22:06,800
Oh, look how cute.
There's, like, a judge
and everything.
1651
01:22:06,869 --> 01:22:08,501
And jury people.
1652
01:22:08,570 --> 01:22:10,002
(CLAPPING)
1653
01:22:08,570 --> 01:22:10,002
Vote for Elle!
1654
01:22:10,071 --> 01:22:11,474
Ladies, take a seat.
1655
01:22:12,741 --> 01:22:14,177
Go, girl.
1656
01:22:16,945 --> 01:22:18,811
(SIGHS)
1657
01:22:18,880 --> 01:22:20,446
BAILIFF: Do you swear
to tell the truth,
the whole truth,
1658
01:22:20,515 --> 01:22:22,081
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
1659
01:22:22,150 --> 01:22:23,652
I do.
1660
01:22:22,150 --> 01:22:23,652
Be seated.
1661
01:22:26,354 --> 01:22:29,125
Ms. Woods, you may begin
your questioning.
1662
01:22:30,959 --> 01:22:32,495
Um...
1663
01:22:34,062 --> 01:22:36,362
First of all I would
like to point out
1664
01:22:36,431 --> 01:22:38,397
that not only is there
no proof in this case,
1665
01:22:38,466 --> 01:22:42,768
but there is a complete
lack of, um, mens rea,
1666
01:22:42,837 --> 01:22:46,573
which by definition
tells us that there
can be no crime
1667
01:22:46,642 --> 01:22:48,511
without a vicious will.
1668
01:22:49,978 --> 01:22:52,644
I am aware of the
meaning of mens rea.
1669
01:22:52,713 --> 01:22:56,415
What I'm unaware of
is why you're giving me
a vocabulary lesson
1670
01:22:56,484 --> 01:22:59,355
when you should be
questioning your witness.
1671
01:23:00,856 --> 01:23:02,125
Yes, Your Honor.
1672
01:23:02,491 --> 01:23:03,359
Um...
1673
01:23:05,860 --> 01:23:08,127
Miss Windham,
1674
01:23:08,196 --> 01:23:10,399
when you arrived
back at the house,
1675
01:23:11,567 --> 01:23:13,366
was your father there?
1676
01:23:13,435 --> 01:23:15,368
Not that I saw,
but like I said,
1677
01:23:15,437 --> 01:23:19,105
I went straight upstairs
to take a shower.
1678
01:23:19,174 --> 01:23:23,910
And when you
came downstairs,
what happened?
1679
01:23:23,979 --> 01:23:26,449
I saw Brooke
standing over his body,
1680
01:23:27,883 --> 01:23:29,518
drenched in his blood.
1681
01:23:33,856 --> 01:23:38,290
Um, but Mrs. Windham
didn't have a gun?
1682
01:23:38,359 --> 01:23:40,225
No. She'd stashed it
by then.
1683
01:23:40,294 --> 01:23:42,261
Move to strike that from
the record, Your Honor.
1684
01:23:42,330 --> 01:23:44,500
It's speculation.
1685
01:23:42,330 --> 01:23:44,500
So stricken.
1686
01:23:46,635 --> 01:23:47,670
Go ahead.
1687
01:23:51,507 --> 01:23:54,307
Um, Miss Windham,
1688
01:23:54,376 --> 01:23:56,743
did you hear
a shot fired?
1689
01:23:56,812 --> 01:23:58,547
No. I was in the shower.
1690
01:23:59,848 --> 01:24:01,447
Okay.
1691
01:24:01,516 --> 01:24:06,489
So, sometime in the 20 minutes
that you were in the shower,
1692
01:24:07,590 --> 01:24:09,158
your father was shot.
1693
01:24:09,658 --> 01:24:11,657
I guess.
1694
01:24:11,726 --> 01:24:15,227
Your father was shot
while you were in the shower,
1695
01:24:15,296 --> 01:24:18,167
but you didn't hear
the shot because...
1696
01:24:19,635 --> 01:24:20,503
Um...
1697
01:24:22,336 --> 01:24:24,068
Because you were
in the shower?
1698
01:24:25,508 --> 01:24:26,906
Yes.
1699
01:24:26,975 --> 01:24:28,611
I was washing my hair.
1700
01:24:30,078 --> 01:24:31,414
(BARKS QUIETLY)
1701
01:24:32,347 --> 01:24:34,213
Where is she
going with this?
1702
01:24:34,282 --> 01:24:36,352
Have a little faith,
Gerard.
1703
01:24:42,991 --> 01:24:46,058
Um, Miss Windham,
1704
01:24:46,127 --> 01:24:48,495
what had you done
earlier that day?
1705
01:24:48,564 --> 01:24:50,697
(SIGHS) I got up,
1706
01:24:50,766 --> 01:24:52,998
got a latte,
went to the gym,
1707
01:24:53,067 --> 01:24:55,238
got a perm,
and came home.
1708
01:24:57,172 --> 01:24:59,375
Where you got
in the shower?
1709
01:25:00,375 --> 01:25:02,141
I believe the witness
has made it clear
1710
01:25:02,210 --> 01:25:04,710
that she was
in the shower.
1711
01:25:04,779 --> 01:25:05,881
(PEOPLE SNICKERING)
1712
01:25:09,217 --> 01:25:11,718
(CHUCKLES)
Yes, Your Honor.
1713
01:25:11,787 --> 01:25:13,389
Um, Miss Windham,
1714
01:25:14,455 --> 01:25:16,259
had you ever gotten
a perm before?
1715
01:25:16,625 --> 01:25:17,659
Yes.
1716
01:25:18,126 --> 01:25:19,562
How many would you say?
1717
01:25:20,790 --> 01:25:22,565
Two a year
since I was 12.
1718
01:25:23,799 --> 01:25:25,964
You do the math.
1719
01:25:26,033 --> 01:25:29,368
You know, a girl in my
sorority, Tracy Marcinko,
got a perm once.
1720
01:25:29,437 --> 01:25:31,037
We all tried
to talk her out of it.
1721
01:25:31,106 --> 01:25:33,238
Curls weren't
a good look for her.
1722
01:25:33,307 --> 01:25:34,777
She didn't have
your bone structure.
1723
01:25:36,344 --> 01:25:38,344
But, thankfully,
that same day
1724
01:25:38,413 --> 01:25:40,479
she entered the Beta Delta Pi
wet T-shirt contest
1725
01:25:40,548 --> 01:25:42,415
where she was completely
hosed down from head to toe.
1726
01:25:42,484 --> 01:25:45,813
Objection!
Why is this relevant?
1727
01:25:45,882 --> 01:25:47,587
Oh, I have a point.
I promise.
1728
01:25:47,656 --> 01:25:48,557
Then make it.
1729
01:25:49,553 --> 01:25:50,956
Yes, Your Honor.
1730
01:25:51,025 --> 01:25:54,293
Um, Chutney, why is it
that Tracy Marcinko's
curls were ruined
1731
01:25:54,362 --> 01:25:56,499
when she got hosed down?
1732
01:25:57,699 --> 01:25:58,731
'Cause they got wet?
1733
01:25:58,800 --> 01:26:01,000
Exactly. Because isn't it
the first cardinal rule
1734
01:26:01,069 --> 01:26:03,168
of perm maintenance
that you're forbidden
to wet your hair
1735
01:26:03,237 --> 01:26:05,438
for at least 24 hours
after getting a perm
1736
01:26:05,507 --> 01:26:08,172
at the risk of deactivating
the ammonium thioglycolate?
1737
01:26:09,744 --> 01:26:10,810
Uh, yes.
1738
01:26:10,879 --> 01:26:13,378
And wouldn't somebody
who's had, say, 30 perms
1739
01:26:13,447 --> 01:26:16,582
before in their life be
well aware of this rule?
1740
01:26:16,651 --> 01:26:18,584
And if in fact you weren't
washing your hair,
1741
01:26:18,653 --> 01:26:21,320
as I suspect you weren't
because your curls
are still intact,
1742
01:26:21,389 --> 01:26:22,989
wouldn't you have
heard the gunshot?
1743
01:26:23,058 --> 01:26:24,823
And if in fact
you had heard the gunshot,
1744
01:26:24,892 --> 01:26:28,660
Brooke Windham wouldn't have
had time to hide the gun
before you got downstairs,
1745
01:26:28,729 --> 01:26:30,896
which would mean you would
have had to have found
1746
01:26:30,965 --> 01:26:34,200
Mrs. Windham with a gun
in her hand to make
your story plausible.
1747
01:26:34,269 --> 01:26:35,467
Isn't that right?
1748
01:26:35,536 --> 01:26:37,736
She's my age!
Did she tell you that?
1749
01:26:37,805 --> 01:26:40,405
How would you feel
if your father married
someone who was your age?
1750
01:26:40,474 --> 01:26:43,076
You, however, had time
to hide the gun,
didn't you, Chutney,
1751
01:26:43,145 --> 01:26:44,243
after you shot your father?
1752
01:26:44,312 --> 01:26:45,711
I didn't mean
to shoot him.
1753
01:26:45,780 --> 01:26:47,914
I thought it was you
walking through the door!
1754
01:26:47,983 --> 01:26:49,418
(CROWD GASPS)
1755
01:26:50,484 --> 01:26:52,588
(BANGING GAVEL)
1756
01:26:50,484 --> 01:26:52,588
Order! Order!
1757
01:26:53,789 --> 01:26:54,823
Order!
1758
01:26:53,789 --> 01:26:54,823
Oh!
1759
01:26:56,157 --> 01:26:57,557
Oh, my God.
1760
01:26:57,626 --> 01:26:58,891
Oh, my God.
1761
01:26:58,960 --> 01:27:00,296
Oh, my God.
1762
01:27:02,263 --> 01:27:04,196
JUDGE: Bailiff, take
the witness into custody
1763
01:27:04,265 --> 01:27:08,334
where she will be charged
for the murder of
Heyworth Windham.
1764
01:27:08,403 --> 01:27:11,203
In the matter of
The State v.
Brooke Windham,
1765
01:27:11,272 --> 01:27:13,172
this case is dismissed.
1766
01:27:13,241 --> 01:27:15,008
Mrs. Windham,
you are free to go.
1767
01:27:15,077 --> 01:27:16,143
Yes!
1768
01:27:16,212 --> 01:27:17,713
(CHEERING)
1769
01:27:27,122 --> 01:27:28,424
Thank you!
1770
01:27:32,660 --> 01:27:34,626
Elle, how did you know
that Chutney was lying?
1771
01:27:34,695 --> 01:27:36,262
Because she's
brilliant, of course.
1772
01:27:36,331 --> 01:27:38,263
The rules of hair care
are simple and finite.
1773
01:27:38,332 --> 01:27:39,868
Any Cosmo Girl
would have known.
1774
01:27:42,838 --> 01:27:44,873
Elle! Elle! Elle!
1775
01:27:45,941 --> 01:27:47,172
What?
1776
01:27:47,241 --> 01:27:48,474
I just wanted to say
1777
01:27:48,543 --> 01:27:50,813
that you were
so brilliant in there.
1778
01:27:52,280 --> 01:27:54,717
And that I was wrong.
1779
01:27:56,217 --> 01:27:59,388
And you are
the girl for me.
1780
01:28:01,022 --> 01:28:02,358
Really?
1781
01:28:01,022 --> 01:28:02,358
Yes.
1782
01:28:03,025 --> 01:28:04,393
Pooh Bear,
1783
01:28:05,193 --> 01:28:06,529
I love you.
1784
01:28:07,963 --> 01:28:09,761
Oh, Warner,
1785
01:28:09,830 --> 01:28:12,535
I've waited so long
to hear you say that.
1786
01:28:14,702 --> 01:28:16,468
But if I'm gonna be
a partner in a law firm
1787
01:28:16,537 --> 01:28:18,171
by the time I'm 30,
I need a boyfriend
1788
01:28:18,240 --> 01:28:20,643
who's not such
a complete bonehead.
1789
01:28:25,047 --> 01:28:26,615
Thank you, boys.
1790
01:28:33,154 --> 01:28:34,553
STROMWELL:
Ladies and gentlemen,
1791
01:28:34,622 --> 01:28:38,094
I present the graduates
of Harvard Law School,
1792
01:28:38,861 --> 01:28:40,793
Class of 2004.
1793
01:28:40,862 --> 01:28:41,965
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
1794
01:28:43,431 --> 01:28:46,733
I am personally
very honored to introduce
1795
01:28:46,802 --> 01:28:49,901
this year's
class-elected speaker.
1796
01:28:49,970 --> 01:28:54,406
After getting off
to a quite interesting
start here at Harvard,
1797
01:28:54,475 --> 01:28:57,877
she graduates today
with an invitation to join
1798
01:28:57,946 --> 01:29:00,749
one of Boston's
most prestigious law firms.
1799
01:29:02,049 --> 01:29:05,488
I am sure
we are going to see
great things from her.
1800
01:29:06,722 --> 01:29:09,758
Ladies and gentlemen,
Elle Woods.
1801
01:29:10,492 --> 01:29:13,596
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
1802
01:29:31,646 --> 01:29:33,646
On our very first day
at Harvard,
1803
01:29:33,715 --> 01:29:36,519
a very wise professor
quoted Aristotle.
1804
01:29:37,919 --> 01:29:40,489
"The law is reason
free from passion."
1805
01:29:41,624 --> 01:29:44,691
Well, no offense
to Aristotle,
1806
01:29:44,760 --> 01:29:46,092
but in my three years
at Harvard,
1807
01:29:46,161 --> 01:29:49,896
I have come to find
that passion is
a key ingredient
1808
01:29:49,965 --> 01:29:54,666
to the study and practice
of law and of life.
1809
01:29:54,735 --> 01:29:57,437
It is with passion,
courage of conviction,
1810
01:29:57,506 --> 01:29:59,571
and strong sense of self
1811
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:02,274
that we take our next steps
into the world,
1812
01:30:02,343 --> 01:30:05,982
remembering
that first impressions
are not always correct.
1813
01:30:07,682 --> 01:30:09,986
You must always have faith
in people,
1814
01:30:10,686 --> 01:30:12,755
and most importantly,
1815
01:30:15,791 --> 01:30:18,194
you must always have faith
in yourself.
1816
01:30:20,428 --> 01:30:22,898
Congratulations,
Class of 2004.
1817
01:30:23,966 --> 01:30:25,068
We did it!
1818
01:30:26,001 --> 01:30:27,103
(CHEERING)
1819
01:30:28,170 --> 01:30:29,502
♪ Sun's up
1820
01:30:29,571 --> 01:30:31,840
♪ It's a little after 12:00
1821
01:30:32,674 --> 01:30:35,708
♪ Make breakfast for myself
1822
01:30:35,777 --> 01:30:38,047
♪ Leave the work
for someone else
1823
01:30:40,015 --> 01:30:41,948
♪ People say
1824
01:30:42,017 --> 01:30:45,417
♪ They say
that it's just a phase
1825
01:30:45,486 --> 01:30:47,556
♪ They tell me
to act my age
1826
01:30:48,390 --> 01:30:50,927
♪ Well, I am
1827
01:30:51,660 --> 01:30:55,494
♪ On this perfect day
1828
01:30:55,563 --> 01:30:58,197
♪ Nothing's standing in my way
1829
01:30:58,266 --> 01:31:00,003
♪ On this perfect day
1830
01:31:01,637 --> 01:31:03,606
♪ When nothing can go wrong
1831
01:31:04,372 --> 01:31:09,012
♪ On this perfect day
1832
01:31:11,079 --> 01:31:13,240
♪ Wake up
1833
01:31:13,309 --> 01:31:16,082
♪ Don't tell me
it's just a dream
1834
01:31:16,151 --> 01:31:19,786
♪ 'Cause when I've had enough
you'll hear me say
1835
01:31:19,855 --> 01:31:23,288
♪ Now don't you try
to rain on my
1836
01:31:23,357 --> 01:31:26,525
♪ Perfect day
1837
01:31:26,594 --> 01:31:29,262
♪ Nothing's standing in my way
1838
01:31:29,331 --> 01:31:32,632
♪ On this perfect day
1839
01:31:32,701 --> 01:31:35,334
♪ When nothing can go wrong
1840
01:31:35,403 --> 01:31:39,808
♪ It's a perfect day
1841
01:31:41,577 --> 01:31:45,982
♪ On this perfect day
1842
01:31:47,616 --> 01:31:53,056
♪ On this perfect day ♪
1843
01:32:10,704 --> 01:32:13,807
♪ I wear a disguise
I'm just your average Jane
1844
01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:15,574
♪ The super doesn't stand
for model
1845
01:32:15,643 --> 01:32:17,304
♪ But that doesn't mean
I'm plain
1846
01:32:17,373 --> 01:32:18,912
♪ If all you see
is how I look
1847
01:32:18,981 --> 01:32:21,080
♪ You miss
the superchick within
1848
01:32:21,149 --> 01:32:25,051
♪ If I christen you Titanic,
underestimate and swim
1849
01:32:25,120 --> 01:32:28,687
♪ I've got the rifle,
gonna be myself
1850
01:32:28,756 --> 01:32:31,290
♪ I've got the rifle,
gonna be myself
1851
01:32:31,359 --> 01:32:33,527
♪ And I'll be everything
1852
01:32:33,596 --> 01:32:34,994
♪ That I wanna be
1853
01:32:35,063 --> 01:32:38,663
♪ I am confidence
in insecurity
1854
01:32:38,732 --> 01:32:42,201
♪ I am a voice
yet waiting to be heard
1855
01:32:42,270 --> 01:32:45,608
♪ I'll shoot the shot, bang
that you hear round the world
1856
01:32:47,876 --> 01:32:49,745
♪ And I'm a
one-girl revolution
1857
01:32:51,613 --> 01:32:53,316
♪ I'm a one-girl revolution
1858
01:32:54,683 --> 01:32:58,918
♪ I'm a one-girl revolution
1859
01:32:58,987 --> 01:33:00,720
♪ Some people see
the revolution
1860
01:33:00,789 --> 01:33:02,588
♪ But most only see the girl
1861
01:33:02,657 --> 01:33:06,192
♪ I can lose my hard-earned
freedom, if my fear
defines my world
1862
01:33:06,261 --> 01:33:09,395
♪ I declare my independence
from the critics
and their stones
1863
01:33:09,464 --> 01:33:12,936
♪ I can find my revolution
I can learn to stand alone
1864
01:33:18,106 --> 01:33:22,336
♪ And I'll be everything
that I wanna be
1865
01:33:22,405 --> 01:33:25,677
♪ I am confidence
in insecurity
1866
01:33:25,746 --> 01:33:29,182
♪ I am a voice
yet waiting to be heard
1867
01:33:29,251 --> 01:33:32,821
♪ I'll shoot the shot, bang
that you hear round the world
1868
01:33:38,421 --> 01:33:40,729
♪ I'm a one-girl revolution ♪
1869
01:33:54,943 --> 01:33:58,845
♪ I don't need you to
1870
01:33:58,914 --> 01:34:03,152
♪ Tell me I'm pretty
to make me feel beautiful
1871
01:34:06,689 --> 01:34:10,122
♪ I don't need you to
1872
01:34:10,191 --> 01:34:17,191
♪ Give me your strength
to make me feel I'm strong
1873
01:34:17,765 --> 01:34:24,136
♪ I got all of this strength
that I need here inside
my own two hands
1874
01:34:24,205 --> 01:34:28,708
♪ All that I want is your love
and respect for who I am
1875
01:34:28,777 --> 01:34:32,646
♪ What I really need
1876
01:34:32,715 --> 01:34:35,942
♪ Comes from
deep inside of me
1877
01:34:36,011 --> 01:34:41,587
♪ Don't need you
to tell me I'm pretty
to make me feel beautiful
1878
01:34:41,656 --> 01:34:46,325
♪ Don't need you to
make me strong 'cause
I'm strong all on my own
1879
01:34:46,394 --> 01:34:49,228
♪ Doesn't come from outside
1880
01:34:49,297 --> 01:34:51,434
♪ This beauty I know
1881
01:34:52,500 --> 01:34:56,002
♪ Comes from inside my soul
1882
01:34:56,071 --> 01:35:01,674
♪ Don't need to come to you
for confirmation
1883
01:35:01,743 --> 01:35:06,312
♪ Because I finally found,
too, this revelation
1884
01:35:06,381 --> 01:35:12,050
♪ What I really need
1885
01:35:06,381 --> 01:35:12,050
♪ What I really need
1886
01:35:12,119 --> 01:35:17,356
♪ I'm gonna find inside of me
1887
01:35:12,119 --> 01:35:17,356
♪ Find inside of me
1888
01:35:17,425 --> 01:35:19,258
♪ Not in somebody else
1889
01:35:19,327 --> 01:35:24,062
♪ Respect comes
when you respect yourself
1890
01:35:24,131 --> 01:35:29,267
♪ Don't need you
to tell me I'm pretty
to make me feel beautiful
1891
01:35:29,336 --> 01:35:33,973
♪ Don't need you to
make me strong 'cause
I'm strong all on my own
1892
01:35:34,042 --> 01:35:36,709
♪ Doesn't come from outside
1893
01:35:36,778 --> 01:35:39,314
♪ This beauty I know
1894
01:35:39,881 --> 01:35:43,148
♪ Comes from inside my soul
1895
01:35:43,217 --> 01:35:46,855
♪ Don't need you to
tell me I'm pretty
1896
01:35:48,056 --> 01:35:52,161
♪ To know I'm beautiful ♪